Every year at Girl Guides I dress up for our party and glue fake horns onto my head. This year The Girl did it too.
Every year, two days after the party I get my horn rings.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Back in Canada
Last year Ottawa almost hit the record amount for snow fall – but we missed it, we were in Texas. We hoped it was just a freak year, but we just got 10 inches dumped on us. We never get this much before Halloween. Crap.
Beauty Hurts
The Mom: Can I get my eyebrows waxed?
The Waxer: Sure, come on back.
The Mom: I had them done at another place and I took a bad reaction. Do you have anything that is hypo allergenic?
The Waxer: We use an aloe based wax and as far as I know, no one has ever had a reaction to it.
The Mom: Ok I’ll give it a try.
Glad to know that I’m not a no one:
The Waxer: Sure, come on back.
The Mom: I had them done at another place and I took a bad reaction. Do you have anything that is hypo allergenic?
The Waxer: We use an aloe based wax and as far as I know, no one has ever had a reaction to it.
The Mom: Ok I’ll give it a try.
Glad to know that I’m not a no one:
And that is after a fist full of Benadryl which reduced the swelling enough for me to actually open my eyes
Picture Day
I called home to make sure The Girl remembers to brush her hair before school and I can hear her in the background:
“Tell mom how fabulous my hair looks.”
“Tell mom how fabulous my hair looks.”
Yes, she looked good.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Overheard at Work
Ick boy “I clean my bowl when it gets brown enough, I am the original caveman.”
OMG! He is talking about his toilet.
I feel the need to disinfect.
OMG! He is talking about his toilet.
I feel the need to disinfect.
It’s my Birthday?
For some reason, The Ex had to call and wish me a happy birthday.
Ex: “Happy Birthday”
Me; “Thanks, it was yesterday.”
Ex: “No, it wasn’t.”
Me: “Yup, I’m pretty sure it was.”
Ex: “No, today is the 15th. My watch says so.”
Me: “It may be possible that your watch is wrong. I think I would know when my birthday is.”
Ex: “But my computer says it’s the 15th too.”
Me: “Any chance your last international trip screwed up the date?”
Ex: “Happy Birthday.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Asshole still can’t admit he’s wrong.
Ex: “Happy Birthday”
Me; “Thanks, it was yesterday.”
Ex: “No, it wasn’t.”
Me: “Yup, I’m pretty sure it was.”
Ex: “No, today is the 15th. My watch says so.”
Me: “It may be possible that your watch is wrong. I think I would know when my birthday is.”
Ex: “But my computer says it’s the 15th too.”
Me: “Any chance your last international trip screwed up the date?”
Ex: “Happy Birthday.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Asshole still can’t admit he’s wrong.
Bathrooms!
Yes! The contractors finished the bathrooms on our floor at work. Not a moment too soon. For the last 6 weeks we have had to use the ones on the floor above us and when they are being cleaned, we have to go up two floors.
For some reason, when ever you are seen up there, or seen coming down the stairwell. Idiots needs to point out that they “know where you have been’ or ‘know what you were doing up there!” Yes, I had to shit. Chances are you do it to. Assholes.
For some reason, when ever you are seen up there, or seen coming down the stairwell. Idiots needs to point out that they “know where you have been’ or ‘know what you were doing up there!” Yes, I had to shit. Chances are you do it to. Assholes.
Happy Birthday To Me
My birthday was awesome!
The Girl ran out to meet me at the car and helped me bring in my stuff. The Boys were waiting for me in side the door and the three of them sang Happy Birthday to me.
Or friends were running late for supper so hubby offered to stick the Chinese food I the oven to keep it warm.
Me: Will it be ok
Hubby: Yes, it’s on the lowest setting.
Me: but some f the stuff is in sytrofoam, won’t it melt?
Hubby: No, it will be ok.
Nope. It melted.
Luckily most of the stuff was in foil trays with Styrofoam as a id so the tops just popped off as they started to shrink. The only big problem was the styrofoam containers of plum sauce and sweet and sour sauce. They started to spring a few leaks. We managed to get everything transferred to dishes just as our friends showed up – it was funny more than anything.
We had an awesome feed and then Hubby and The Girl brought in the cake. It was really good. Later that night they told me how The Girl tried to light the candles with a match, but when she tried to light the last one the match flame got to close to her fingers and she had to blow it out. Only, when she blew out the match, she also blew out all the candles she had just lit! She didn’t think it was a funny as we did!
I loved the presents and there were even some surprises. I know hubby had taken them down to the basement and I kept my eye out while I was straightening up down there over the weekend but I didn’t see anything. Turns out he had stuck them in the downstairs fridge! Too funny. I never thought of that, but now he won’t be able to use that spot again!
Overall, it was another awesome birthday to add to the list.
The Girl ran out to meet me at the car and helped me bring in my stuff. The Boys were waiting for me in side the door and the three of them sang Happy Birthday to me.
Or friends were running late for supper so hubby offered to stick the Chinese food I the oven to keep it warm.
Me: Will it be ok
Hubby: Yes, it’s on the lowest setting.
Me: but some f the stuff is in sytrofoam, won’t it melt?
Hubby: No, it will be ok.
Nope. It melted.
Luckily most of the stuff was in foil trays with Styrofoam as a id so the tops just popped off as they started to shrink. The only big problem was the styrofoam containers of plum sauce and sweet and sour sauce. They started to spring a few leaks. We managed to get everything transferred to dishes just as our friends showed up – it was funny more than anything.
We had an awesome feed and then Hubby and The Girl brought in the cake. It was really good. Later that night they told me how The Girl tried to light the candles with a match, but when she tried to light the last one the match flame got to close to her fingers and she had to blow it out. Only, when she blew out the match, she also blew out all the candles she had just lit! She didn’t think it was a funny as we did!
I loved the presents and there were even some surprises. I know hubby had taken them down to the basement and I kept my eye out while I was straightening up down there over the weekend but I didn’t see anything. Turns out he had stuck them in the downstairs fridge! Too funny. I never thought of that, but now he won’t be able to use that spot again!
Overall, it was another awesome birthday to add to the list.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Birthdays to Remember
It’s my birthday today. I am almost excited about it. I have had so many shitty ones that I normally dread it. Last year hubby made it a really nice day so this year I am looking forward to it for the first time in a very long time.
After the alarm went off this morning I laid in bed for a few minutes and thought about my birthday. There are only a few that I actually remember.
10th – I turned double digits. I got to have a birthday party – my first and only as a kid. I remember thinking that it would be 6 years until I could get my driver’s license, but I don’t remember my 16th birthday.
15th – I turned 15 on the 15th. We had a VCR by then and I got to pick out movies to watch. I picked Basket Case – a horror movie about a deformed Siamese twin.
22nd – None of the others stand out from High School or university. On my 22nd, I was in Comox, BC. It was my first posting after I graduated from University. I had spent the summer in St Jean, Quebec on French language training and had arrived in BC in late August. By the fall, all the summer people were gone and there were only 8-10 of us living on base. We all went out for Chinese food. It was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere.
24th – Posted to Cold Lake, Alberta and living in barracks. The year before I was on course in Borden and a bunch of us got posted to Cold Lake together. One of the guys got sent to Halifax on course so I would hang out with his wife and three boys in the evenings and on weekends to help out. For my birthday she had made me a cake and the boys sang me happy birthday. It felt so nice to have a family when I was so far away from my own.
30th – I know I should remember it because it is a milestone, but what makes this one stand out is that instead of a party, on the day of my birthday we actually had all of the kids' friends from the neighborhood (but none of the parents) come in after supper and help me blow the candles out on the cake. So I remember all the kids laughing in the kitchen. The only other thing I remember is Mother Downing telling me how awesome my thirties are going to be compared to my twenties. Well she was so wrong. My thirties sucked ass big time. When I hit 37 things started to turn around so at least I will end the decade on a good note.
Five birthdays stand out in a good way out of 39. That is a really sucky ratio, but I am looking forward to improving it in the years to come.
After the alarm went off this morning I laid in bed for a few minutes and thought about my birthday. There are only a few that I actually remember.
10th – I turned double digits. I got to have a birthday party – my first and only as a kid. I remember thinking that it would be 6 years until I could get my driver’s license, but I don’t remember my 16th birthday.
15th – I turned 15 on the 15th. We had a VCR by then and I got to pick out movies to watch. I picked Basket Case – a horror movie about a deformed Siamese twin.
22nd – None of the others stand out from High School or university. On my 22nd, I was in Comox, BC. It was my first posting after I graduated from University. I had spent the summer in St Jean, Quebec on French language training and had arrived in BC in late August. By the fall, all the summer people were gone and there were only 8-10 of us living on base. We all went out for Chinese food. It was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere.
24th – Posted to Cold Lake, Alberta and living in barracks. The year before I was on course in Borden and a bunch of us got posted to Cold Lake together. One of the guys got sent to Halifax on course so I would hang out with his wife and three boys in the evenings and on weekends to help out. For my birthday she had made me a cake and the boys sang me happy birthday. It felt so nice to have a family when I was so far away from my own.
30th – I know I should remember it because it is a milestone, but what makes this one stand out is that instead of a party, on the day of my birthday we actually had all of the kids' friends from the neighborhood (but none of the parents) come in after supper and help me blow the candles out on the cake. So I remember all the kids laughing in the kitchen. The only other thing I remember is Mother Downing telling me how awesome my thirties are going to be compared to my twenties. Well she was so wrong. My thirties sucked ass big time. When I hit 37 things started to turn around so at least I will end the decade on a good note.
Five birthdays stand out in a good way out of 39. That is a really sucky ratio, but I am looking forward to improving it in the years to come.
WTF?
I am fine with people brushing their teeth at work, but could you please not leave big gobs of toothpaste in the sink? Bright blue toothpaste in a white sink is hard to miss.
Jacket or no Jacket
So, it’s afternoon tea time.
I put on my jacket and Just before I head out, the guy behind me comes in.
Me: How’s the weather, do I need a jacket?
Guy: No, it’s actually really nice out.
I take off my jacket.
Guy: Out it was raining a bit so you may need one.
Me: ok.
I put my jacket back on and grab my umbrella.
Guy: Oh, if you have an umbrella it is probably warm enough that you won’t need your jacket.
Me: Ok.
I take my jacket off.
Me: Wait a minute…how warm is it in Girl Weather.
Guy: You’re right, you had better take your jacket.
I put on my jacket.
I finally head outside. It is a little overcast. I meet P and we get our tea and sit at the picnic table for awhile. Then the sun comes out and in 5 min it’s a clear blue sky. I am such a loser.
I put on my jacket and Just before I head out, the guy behind me comes in.
Me: How’s the weather, do I need a jacket?
Guy: No, it’s actually really nice out.
I take off my jacket.
Guy: Out it was raining a bit so you may need one.
Me: ok.
I put my jacket back on and grab my umbrella.
Guy: Oh, if you have an umbrella it is probably warm enough that you won’t need your jacket.
Me: Ok.
I take my jacket off.
Me: Wait a minute…how warm is it in Girl Weather.
Guy: You’re right, you had better take your jacket.
I put on my jacket.
I finally head outside. It is a little overcast. I meet P and we get our tea and sit at the picnic table for awhile. Then the sun comes out and in 5 min it’s a clear blue sky. I am such a loser.
10 Years
I managed to get the basement cleaned out and have an hour or so to spend I the back yard. I am in the middle of tearing down the play structure. I never did get it finished and it is starting to rot so I need to deal with it.
It’s sad in a few ways. Mostly because it means the kids are growing up and don’t use it anymore. As I sat on the floor with boards all over the place, I remembered so clearly how excited I was to build it. 10 years ago. It was started as a present for The Boy’s 3rd birthday.
So much has changed.
The structure was my own design and was built in among existing trees. A ladder up to one platform. A step up to the second platform. At the meeting point of the two platforms there was another ladder to a narrow walkway between the trees. It lead to a smaller third platform and form that was a circular slide. Under the walkway were 2 swings and rocket glider. The swings and slide area was a huge sand pit.
A few years ago we had to take down everything but the first two platforms to have the pool installed.
The slide got moved to the far end of the platforms and re attached and a small sand pit was build. I was going to add a roof and turn it into a little house for The Girl, but then all projects ground to a halt with the separation and the divorce.
By the time the duct settled, most of the trees surrounding the play structure were dead form Dutch Elm disease and had to be removed. Then there was the move to Texas and finally the move home this summer.
So here I sit, 10 years later on a half built structure. The kids have grown up a bit and are healthy and happy. The pool is amazing and gets plenty of use. I have a new husband and have never been happier. A few more trees have had to be removed. There is only one elm left. In another year the structure will be gone and the area will be landscaped. The kids will probably be too old to bug me about building their new clubhouse, but I might do it anyway. If I do, I am definitely using screws.
It’s sad in a few ways. Mostly because it means the kids are growing up and don’t use it anymore. As I sat on the floor with boards all over the place, I remembered so clearly how excited I was to build it. 10 years ago. It was started as a present for The Boy’s 3rd birthday.
So much has changed.
The structure was my own design and was built in among existing trees. A ladder up to one platform. A step up to the second platform. At the meeting point of the two platforms there was another ladder to a narrow walkway between the trees. It lead to a smaller third platform and form that was a circular slide. Under the walkway were 2 swings and rocket glider. The swings and slide area was a huge sand pit.
A few years ago we had to take down everything but the first two platforms to have the pool installed.
The slide got moved to the far end of the platforms and re attached and a small sand pit was build. I was going to add a roof and turn it into a little house for The Girl, but then all projects ground to a halt with the separation and the divorce.
By the time the duct settled, most of the trees surrounding the play structure were dead form Dutch Elm disease and had to be removed. Then there was the move to Texas and finally the move home this summer.
So here I sit, 10 years later on a half built structure. The kids have grown up a bit and are healthy and happy. The pool is amazing and gets plenty of use. I have a new husband and have never been happier. A few more trees have had to be removed. There is only one elm left. In another year the structure will be gone and the area will be landscaped. The kids will probably be too old to bug me about building their new clubhouse, but I might do it anyway. If I do, I am definitely using screws.
Shopping with the Girls
I agreed to let The Girl bring a friend along on the shopping trip. We had a ball.
We stopped in the La Senza Girl to hit the sales. The girls were giggling and pointing at the bra display. I couldn’t’ help it. I yelled across the store “What? You guys need some new bras?”
I don’t think they will ever be seen in public with me again! Yes!
We stopped in the La Senza Girl to hit the sales. The girls were giggling and pointing at the bra display. I couldn’t’ help it. I yelled across the store “What? You guys need some new bras?”
I don’t think they will ever be seen in public with me again! Yes!
Long Weekends Suck
I have a four day weekend. I should be thrilled, but I am pissed off. All I can think of is all the work I want to get done around the house. The weather is supposed to be amazing, but I won’t be able to take advantage of it.
I have promised The Girl that we would have a Girl’s day on Friday. Saturday I have to attend a memorial in the middle of the afternoon so I may be able to squeeze in an hour of work in the morning. On Sunday, The Boy has a football game and then it is off to the In Laws for supper. That leaves Monday. On Tuesday a contractor is coming to start on the basement so I have to spend Monday cleaning out the areas that he will be working on.
So much for the beautiful weather and a chance to get a bunch of work done.
I have promised The Girl that we would have a Girl’s day on Friday. Saturday I have to attend a memorial in the middle of the afternoon so I may be able to squeeze in an hour of work in the morning. On Sunday, The Boy has a football game and then it is off to the In Laws for supper. That leaves Monday. On Tuesday a contractor is coming to start on the basement so I have to spend Monday cleaning out the areas that he will be working on.
So much for the beautiful weather and a chance to get a bunch of work done.
De-evolution of Engineers
We are all sitting at our stations waiting for the system to boot up so we can start our test.
One guy starts talking about what his kids are wearing for Halloween.
The next guy mentions how getting a dog is good experience for when you have kids.
Then another guy talks about watching Sesame Street.
Soon someone is doing a Grover impression, running back and forth in the lab doing a near and far demonstration.
And they wonder why engineers are laughed at?
One guy starts talking about what his kids are wearing for Halloween.
The next guy mentions how getting a dog is good experience for when you have kids.
Then another guy talks about watching Sesame Street.
Soon someone is doing a Grover impression, running back and forth in the lab doing a near and far demonstration.
And they wonder why engineers are laughed at?
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Pole Dancing
A few women at work want to see if they can get enough women to set up a Pole dancing class. I was asked and my first thought was:
“If I tried something like that, I just know it would end up on You Tube.”
So, that’s a no.
“If I tried something like that, I just know it would end up on You Tube.”
So, that’s a no.
All I Want for Christmas…
While we were eating supper, The Girl blurted out
“All I want for Christmas is a baby Brother or Sister.”
Me:” It takes a long time to have a kid.”
The Girl: “So, adopt”
Me: “That’s not that easy either – it’s not like you can go up to a vending machine and put in some money and select the one that you want!”
Well, the ending machine idea set off the rest of them:
“what if their heads got stuck in the door”
“what if you pressed the wrong button by accident and got a baby that you didn’t want”
“what if the baby got stuck and you had to put in more money and then ended up with two”
“what if the one you wanted was in the end of a row and you ended up with a bunch of babies on the floor to get to the one you really wanted”
My family should really come with a caution advisory.
“All I want for Christmas is a baby Brother or Sister.”
Me:” It takes a long time to have a kid.”
The Girl: “So, adopt”
Me: “That’s not that easy either – it’s not like you can go up to a vending machine and put in some money and select the one that you want!”
Well, the ending machine idea set off the rest of them:
“what if their heads got stuck in the door”
“what if you pressed the wrong button by accident and got a baby that you didn’t want”
“what if the baby got stuck and you had to put in more money and then ended up with two”
“what if the one you wanted was in the end of a row and you ended up with a bunch of babies on the floor to get to the one you really wanted”
My family should really come with a caution advisory.
Cirque Du Soleil
So, we scored some awesome tickets to Cirque Du Soleil. For all 4 of us. We went two years ago when they were in town and the kids were in Australia with their dad. The kids were pissed that they had missed it.
We bought tickets to the next show, but we screwed up and it was a Cirque Du Soleil Concert.
We managed to see another show, Ka, in Vegas, but again without the kids. When we stopped in Vegas on the way back from Texas we saw Mystere with The Girl. So this was the first one for The Boy.
Luckily we managed to get front row seats. It was amazing. At one point someone almost slid completely off the stage and landed in The Boy’s lap – his eyes were so wide. A lot of the performers waved to The Girl when they were on the edge of the stage, so she loved it too. My favorite part was seeing my family’s expression of awe and happiness.
We bought tickets to the next show, but we screwed up and it was a Cirque Du Soleil Concert.
We managed to see another show, Ka, in Vegas, but again without the kids. When we stopped in Vegas on the way back from Texas we saw Mystere with The Girl. So this was the first one for The Boy.
Luckily we managed to get front row seats. It was amazing. At one point someone almost slid completely off the stage and landed in The Boy’s lap – his eyes were so wide. A lot of the performers waved to The Girl when they were on the edge of the stage, so she loved it too. My favorite part was seeing my family’s expression of awe and happiness.
Cauliflower for Lunch
Since we didn’t have the kids this week na dI spent the weekend at Guide Camp, I haven’t gotten my act together to get groceries. When I tried to pack up a lunch for today, all I had left, healthy wise, was cauliflower and baby carrots.
So I was sitting at my desk crunching the cauliflower when D stopped by.
The guys called and want to go for lunch.
Oh, you’re already eating.
Wait – you’re eating cauliflower?
Ok, get rid of that – you are coming to lunch. Now.
Vietnamese soup beats cauliflower every time.
So I was sitting at my desk crunching the cauliflower when D stopped by.
The guys called and want to go for lunch.
Oh, you’re already eating.
Wait – you’re eating cauliflower?
Ok, get rid of that – you are coming to lunch. Now.
Vietnamese soup beats cauliflower every time.
Meat Market
Hey – anyone want a meat poster. They were free but I had to order a minimum of 25.
I walked around to the next row of cubicles and had a look.
All the guys were huddled around. I expected something unsavory, but no, it was actually a poster depicting all the cuts of meat possible.
I couldn’t help myself.
“What? No firemen?”
The guys burst out laughing, but now they are threatening to surprise me with something special. I should really learn to stay at my desk and keep my mouth shut!
I walked around to the next row of cubicles and had a look.
All the guys were huddled around. I expected something unsavory, but no, it was actually a poster depicting all the cuts of meat possible.
I couldn’t help myself.
“What? No firemen?”
The guys burst out laughing, but now they are threatening to surprise me with something special. I should really learn to stay at my desk and keep my mouth shut!
Careful what you wish for...
Someone quit – I am now first alternate for the egress training.
Crap. The fear of getting dunked in a pool is now overtaking the excitement of going away on course.
Double Crap. Just found out the course is run in Halifax, not Connecticut.
Crap. The fear of getting dunked in a pool is now overtaking the excitement of going away on course.
Double Crap. Just found out the course is run in Halifax, not Connecticut.
WTF?
Two days after camp and I’m still cold. How the hell am I going to pull off winter camping in February.
Mom, my heard hurts
The Girl made it until noon before calling from school and asking to come home. I had spent the day on the couch when I got home form camp so I know exactly how she feels.
Happiness is
Hubby unloading the camping supplies from the trailer while I take an extra long shower.
Guide Camp
Guide camp was awesome. Some highlights:
- the girls realizing that they didn’t have heat or lights in their cabins
- the girls realizing that the Leaders had lights in this cabins
- cooking dough over the fire
- experimenting with toppings when we found out we forgot the syrup for the French toast
- three teams screaming for everyone to break the Pink team’s balloons
- gagging during the food challenge
- three teams almost breaking into a fist fight while digging up the volley ball court looking for the last box of matches
- building big enough fires to light the sparklers suspended about the fire pits
- skits at the campfire
- the girls realizing that they didn’t have heat or lights in their cabins
- the girls realizing that the Leaders had lights in this cabins
- cooking dough over the fire
- experimenting with toppings when we found out we forgot the syrup for the French toast
- three teams screaming for everyone to break the Pink team’s balloons
- gagging during the food challenge
- three teams almost breaking into a fist fight while digging up the volley ball court looking for the last box of matches
- building big enough fires to light the sparklers suspended about the fire pits
- skits at the campfire
The Good Girl
On the way home from Girl Guides, The Girl tells me:
“Mom, I got sent to principals’ office today.”
I start to imagine the phone call and the trip to the Principal’s office that makes me feel like I’m in trouble and the look they give you for not raising your kid right. Working mom guilt.
“What for? What did you do?”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t in trouble, I was a witness.”
“To what”
“A boy called my friend a lot of bad names and then ran away. My friend wanted to follow him and beat him up but I held him back and told him to tell the teacher instead.”
“Wow, that’s cool, I’m really proud of you.”
“The boy is really happy now too.”
“Why would he be happy?”
“Because we got to choose his punishment. We decided to just give him a warning because if he got into trouble he wouldn’t be able to play hockey and he just made the team.”
All the fights to do homework, clean her room, brush her teeth. They are nothing compared to the moments like this.
“Mom, I got sent to principals’ office today.”
I start to imagine the phone call and the trip to the Principal’s office that makes me feel like I’m in trouble and the look they give you for not raising your kid right. Working mom guilt.
“What for? What did you do?”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t in trouble, I was a witness.”
“To what”
“A boy called my friend a lot of bad names and then ran away. My friend wanted to follow him and beat him up but I held him back and told him to tell the teacher instead.”
“Wow, that’s cool, I’m really proud of you.”
“The boy is really happy now too.”
“Why would he be happy?”
“Because we got to choose his punishment. We decided to just give him a warning because if he got into trouble he wouldn’t be able to play hockey and he just made the team.”
All the fights to do homework, clean her room, brush her teeth. They are nothing compared to the moments like this.
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