Every year at Girl Guides I dress up for our party and glue fake horns onto my head. This year The Girl did it too.
Every year, two days after the party I get my horn rings.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Back in Canada
Last year Ottawa almost hit the record amount for snow fall – but we missed it, we were in Texas. We hoped it was just a freak year, but we just got 10 inches dumped on us. We never get this much before Halloween. Crap.
Beauty Hurts
The Mom: Can I get my eyebrows waxed?
The Waxer: Sure, come on back.
The Mom: I had them done at another place and I took a bad reaction. Do you have anything that is hypo allergenic?
The Waxer: We use an aloe based wax and as far as I know, no one has ever had a reaction to it.
The Mom: Ok I’ll give it a try.
Glad to know that I’m not a no one:
The Waxer: Sure, come on back.
The Mom: I had them done at another place and I took a bad reaction. Do you have anything that is hypo allergenic?
The Waxer: We use an aloe based wax and as far as I know, no one has ever had a reaction to it.
The Mom: Ok I’ll give it a try.
Glad to know that I’m not a no one:
And that is after a fist full of Benadryl which reduced the swelling enough for me to actually open my eyes
Picture Day
I called home to make sure The Girl remembers to brush her hair before school and I can hear her in the background:
“Tell mom how fabulous my hair looks.”
“Tell mom how fabulous my hair looks.”
Yes, she looked good.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Overheard at Work
Ick boy “I clean my bowl when it gets brown enough, I am the original caveman.”
OMG! He is talking about his toilet.
I feel the need to disinfect.
OMG! He is talking about his toilet.
I feel the need to disinfect.
It’s my Birthday?
For some reason, The Ex had to call and wish me a happy birthday.
Ex: “Happy Birthday”
Me; “Thanks, it was yesterday.”
Ex: “No, it wasn’t.”
Me: “Yup, I’m pretty sure it was.”
Ex: “No, today is the 15th. My watch says so.”
Me: “It may be possible that your watch is wrong. I think I would know when my birthday is.”
Ex: “But my computer says it’s the 15th too.”
Me: “Any chance your last international trip screwed up the date?”
Ex: “Happy Birthday.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Asshole still can’t admit he’s wrong.
Ex: “Happy Birthday”
Me; “Thanks, it was yesterday.”
Ex: “No, it wasn’t.”
Me: “Yup, I’m pretty sure it was.”
Ex: “No, today is the 15th. My watch says so.”
Me: “It may be possible that your watch is wrong. I think I would know when my birthday is.”
Ex: “But my computer says it’s the 15th too.”
Me: “Any chance your last international trip screwed up the date?”
Ex: “Happy Birthday.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Asshole still can’t admit he’s wrong.
Bathrooms!
Yes! The contractors finished the bathrooms on our floor at work. Not a moment too soon. For the last 6 weeks we have had to use the ones on the floor above us and when they are being cleaned, we have to go up two floors.
For some reason, when ever you are seen up there, or seen coming down the stairwell. Idiots needs to point out that they “know where you have been’ or ‘know what you were doing up there!” Yes, I had to shit. Chances are you do it to. Assholes.
For some reason, when ever you are seen up there, or seen coming down the stairwell. Idiots needs to point out that they “know where you have been’ or ‘know what you were doing up there!” Yes, I had to shit. Chances are you do it to. Assholes.
Happy Birthday To Me
My birthday was awesome!
The Girl ran out to meet me at the car and helped me bring in my stuff. The Boys were waiting for me in side the door and the three of them sang Happy Birthday to me.
Or friends were running late for supper so hubby offered to stick the Chinese food I the oven to keep it warm.
Me: Will it be ok
Hubby: Yes, it’s on the lowest setting.
Me: but some f the stuff is in sytrofoam, won’t it melt?
Hubby: No, it will be ok.
Nope. It melted.
Luckily most of the stuff was in foil trays with Styrofoam as a id so the tops just popped off as they started to shrink. The only big problem was the styrofoam containers of plum sauce and sweet and sour sauce. They started to spring a few leaks. We managed to get everything transferred to dishes just as our friends showed up – it was funny more than anything.
We had an awesome feed and then Hubby and The Girl brought in the cake. It was really good. Later that night they told me how The Girl tried to light the candles with a match, but when she tried to light the last one the match flame got to close to her fingers and she had to blow it out. Only, when she blew out the match, she also blew out all the candles she had just lit! She didn’t think it was a funny as we did!
I loved the presents and there were even some surprises. I know hubby had taken them down to the basement and I kept my eye out while I was straightening up down there over the weekend but I didn’t see anything. Turns out he had stuck them in the downstairs fridge! Too funny. I never thought of that, but now he won’t be able to use that spot again!
Overall, it was another awesome birthday to add to the list.
The Girl ran out to meet me at the car and helped me bring in my stuff. The Boys were waiting for me in side the door and the three of them sang Happy Birthday to me.
Or friends were running late for supper so hubby offered to stick the Chinese food I the oven to keep it warm.
Me: Will it be ok
Hubby: Yes, it’s on the lowest setting.
Me: but some f the stuff is in sytrofoam, won’t it melt?
Hubby: No, it will be ok.
Nope. It melted.
Luckily most of the stuff was in foil trays with Styrofoam as a id so the tops just popped off as they started to shrink. The only big problem was the styrofoam containers of plum sauce and sweet and sour sauce. They started to spring a few leaks. We managed to get everything transferred to dishes just as our friends showed up – it was funny more than anything.
We had an awesome feed and then Hubby and The Girl brought in the cake. It was really good. Later that night they told me how The Girl tried to light the candles with a match, but when she tried to light the last one the match flame got to close to her fingers and she had to blow it out. Only, when she blew out the match, she also blew out all the candles she had just lit! She didn’t think it was a funny as we did!
I loved the presents and there were even some surprises. I know hubby had taken them down to the basement and I kept my eye out while I was straightening up down there over the weekend but I didn’t see anything. Turns out he had stuck them in the downstairs fridge! Too funny. I never thought of that, but now he won’t be able to use that spot again!
Overall, it was another awesome birthday to add to the list.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Birthdays to Remember
It’s my birthday today. I am almost excited about it. I have had so many shitty ones that I normally dread it. Last year hubby made it a really nice day so this year I am looking forward to it for the first time in a very long time.
After the alarm went off this morning I laid in bed for a few minutes and thought about my birthday. There are only a few that I actually remember.
10th – I turned double digits. I got to have a birthday party – my first and only as a kid. I remember thinking that it would be 6 years until I could get my driver’s license, but I don’t remember my 16th birthday.
15th – I turned 15 on the 15th. We had a VCR by then and I got to pick out movies to watch. I picked Basket Case – a horror movie about a deformed Siamese twin.
22nd – None of the others stand out from High School or university. On my 22nd, I was in Comox, BC. It was my first posting after I graduated from University. I had spent the summer in St Jean, Quebec on French language training and had arrived in BC in late August. By the fall, all the summer people were gone and there were only 8-10 of us living on base. We all went out for Chinese food. It was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere.
24th – Posted to Cold Lake, Alberta and living in barracks. The year before I was on course in Borden and a bunch of us got posted to Cold Lake together. One of the guys got sent to Halifax on course so I would hang out with his wife and three boys in the evenings and on weekends to help out. For my birthday she had made me a cake and the boys sang me happy birthday. It felt so nice to have a family when I was so far away from my own.
30th – I know I should remember it because it is a milestone, but what makes this one stand out is that instead of a party, on the day of my birthday we actually had all of the kids' friends from the neighborhood (but none of the parents) come in after supper and help me blow the candles out on the cake. So I remember all the kids laughing in the kitchen. The only other thing I remember is Mother Downing telling me how awesome my thirties are going to be compared to my twenties. Well she was so wrong. My thirties sucked ass big time. When I hit 37 things started to turn around so at least I will end the decade on a good note.
Five birthdays stand out in a good way out of 39. That is a really sucky ratio, but I am looking forward to improving it in the years to come.
After the alarm went off this morning I laid in bed for a few minutes and thought about my birthday. There are only a few that I actually remember.
10th – I turned double digits. I got to have a birthday party – my first and only as a kid. I remember thinking that it would be 6 years until I could get my driver’s license, but I don’t remember my 16th birthday.
15th – I turned 15 on the 15th. We had a VCR by then and I got to pick out movies to watch. I picked Basket Case – a horror movie about a deformed Siamese twin.
22nd – None of the others stand out from High School or university. On my 22nd, I was in Comox, BC. It was my first posting after I graduated from University. I had spent the summer in St Jean, Quebec on French language training and had arrived in BC in late August. By the fall, all the summer people were gone and there were only 8-10 of us living on base. We all went out for Chinese food. It was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere.
24th – Posted to Cold Lake, Alberta and living in barracks. The year before I was on course in Borden and a bunch of us got posted to Cold Lake together. One of the guys got sent to Halifax on course so I would hang out with his wife and three boys in the evenings and on weekends to help out. For my birthday she had made me a cake and the boys sang me happy birthday. It felt so nice to have a family when I was so far away from my own.
30th – I know I should remember it because it is a milestone, but what makes this one stand out is that instead of a party, on the day of my birthday we actually had all of the kids' friends from the neighborhood (but none of the parents) come in after supper and help me blow the candles out on the cake. So I remember all the kids laughing in the kitchen. The only other thing I remember is Mother Downing telling me how awesome my thirties are going to be compared to my twenties. Well she was so wrong. My thirties sucked ass big time. When I hit 37 things started to turn around so at least I will end the decade on a good note.
Five birthdays stand out in a good way out of 39. That is a really sucky ratio, but I am looking forward to improving it in the years to come.
WTF?
I am fine with people brushing their teeth at work, but could you please not leave big gobs of toothpaste in the sink? Bright blue toothpaste in a white sink is hard to miss.
Jacket or no Jacket
So, it’s afternoon tea time.
I put on my jacket and Just before I head out, the guy behind me comes in.
Me: How’s the weather, do I need a jacket?
Guy: No, it’s actually really nice out.
I take off my jacket.
Guy: Out it was raining a bit so you may need one.
Me: ok.
I put my jacket back on and grab my umbrella.
Guy: Oh, if you have an umbrella it is probably warm enough that you won’t need your jacket.
Me: Ok.
I take my jacket off.
Me: Wait a minute…how warm is it in Girl Weather.
Guy: You’re right, you had better take your jacket.
I put on my jacket.
I finally head outside. It is a little overcast. I meet P and we get our tea and sit at the picnic table for awhile. Then the sun comes out and in 5 min it’s a clear blue sky. I am such a loser.
I put on my jacket and Just before I head out, the guy behind me comes in.
Me: How’s the weather, do I need a jacket?
Guy: No, it’s actually really nice out.
I take off my jacket.
Guy: Out it was raining a bit so you may need one.
Me: ok.
I put my jacket back on and grab my umbrella.
Guy: Oh, if you have an umbrella it is probably warm enough that you won’t need your jacket.
Me: Ok.
I take my jacket off.
Me: Wait a minute…how warm is it in Girl Weather.
Guy: You’re right, you had better take your jacket.
I put on my jacket.
I finally head outside. It is a little overcast. I meet P and we get our tea and sit at the picnic table for awhile. Then the sun comes out and in 5 min it’s a clear blue sky. I am such a loser.
10 Years
I managed to get the basement cleaned out and have an hour or so to spend I the back yard. I am in the middle of tearing down the play structure. I never did get it finished and it is starting to rot so I need to deal with it.
It’s sad in a few ways. Mostly because it means the kids are growing up and don’t use it anymore. As I sat on the floor with boards all over the place, I remembered so clearly how excited I was to build it. 10 years ago. It was started as a present for The Boy’s 3rd birthday.
So much has changed.
The structure was my own design and was built in among existing trees. A ladder up to one platform. A step up to the second platform. At the meeting point of the two platforms there was another ladder to a narrow walkway between the trees. It lead to a smaller third platform and form that was a circular slide. Under the walkway were 2 swings and rocket glider. The swings and slide area was a huge sand pit.
A few years ago we had to take down everything but the first two platforms to have the pool installed.
The slide got moved to the far end of the platforms and re attached and a small sand pit was build. I was going to add a roof and turn it into a little house for The Girl, but then all projects ground to a halt with the separation and the divorce.
By the time the duct settled, most of the trees surrounding the play structure were dead form Dutch Elm disease and had to be removed. Then there was the move to Texas and finally the move home this summer.
So here I sit, 10 years later on a half built structure. The kids have grown up a bit and are healthy and happy. The pool is amazing and gets plenty of use. I have a new husband and have never been happier. A few more trees have had to be removed. There is only one elm left. In another year the structure will be gone and the area will be landscaped. The kids will probably be too old to bug me about building their new clubhouse, but I might do it anyway. If I do, I am definitely using screws.
It’s sad in a few ways. Mostly because it means the kids are growing up and don’t use it anymore. As I sat on the floor with boards all over the place, I remembered so clearly how excited I was to build it. 10 years ago. It was started as a present for The Boy’s 3rd birthday.
So much has changed.
The structure was my own design and was built in among existing trees. A ladder up to one platform. A step up to the second platform. At the meeting point of the two platforms there was another ladder to a narrow walkway between the trees. It lead to a smaller third platform and form that was a circular slide. Under the walkway were 2 swings and rocket glider. The swings and slide area was a huge sand pit.
A few years ago we had to take down everything but the first two platforms to have the pool installed.
The slide got moved to the far end of the platforms and re attached and a small sand pit was build. I was going to add a roof and turn it into a little house for The Girl, but then all projects ground to a halt with the separation and the divorce.
By the time the duct settled, most of the trees surrounding the play structure were dead form Dutch Elm disease and had to be removed. Then there was the move to Texas and finally the move home this summer.
So here I sit, 10 years later on a half built structure. The kids have grown up a bit and are healthy and happy. The pool is amazing and gets plenty of use. I have a new husband and have never been happier. A few more trees have had to be removed. There is only one elm left. In another year the structure will be gone and the area will be landscaped. The kids will probably be too old to bug me about building their new clubhouse, but I might do it anyway. If I do, I am definitely using screws.
Shopping with the Girls
I agreed to let The Girl bring a friend along on the shopping trip. We had a ball.
We stopped in the La Senza Girl to hit the sales. The girls were giggling and pointing at the bra display. I couldn’t’ help it. I yelled across the store “What? You guys need some new bras?”
I don’t think they will ever be seen in public with me again! Yes!
We stopped in the La Senza Girl to hit the sales. The girls were giggling and pointing at the bra display. I couldn’t’ help it. I yelled across the store “What? You guys need some new bras?”
I don’t think they will ever be seen in public with me again! Yes!
Long Weekends Suck
I have a four day weekend. I should be thrilled, but I am pissed off. All I can think of is all the work I want to get done around the house. The weather is supposed to be amazing, but I won’t be able to take advantage of it.
I have promised The Girl that we would have a Girl’s day on Friday. Saturday I have to attend a memorial in the middle of the afternoon so I may be able to squeeze in an hour of work in the morning. On Sunday, The Boy has a football game and then it is off to the In Laws for supper. That leaves Monday. On Tuesday a contractor is coming to start on the basement so I have to spend Monday cleaning out the areas that he will be working on.
So much for the beautiful weather and a chance to get a bunch of work done.
I have promised The Girl that we would have a Girl’s day on Friday. Saturday I have to attend a memorial in the middle of the afternoon so I may be able to squeeze in an hour of work in the morning. On Sunday, The Boy has a football game and then it is off to the In Laws for supper. That leaves Monday. On Tuesday a contractor is coming to start on the basement so I have to spend Monday cleaning out the areas that he will be working on.
So much for the beautiful weather and a chance to get a bunch of work done.
De-evolution of Engineers
We are all sitting at our stations waiting for the system to boot up so we can start our test.
One guy starts talking about what his kids are wearing for Halloween.
The next guy mentions how getting a dog is good experience for when you have kids.
Then another guy talks about watching Sesame Street.
Soon someone is doing a Grover impression, running back and forth in the lab doing a near and far demonstration.
And they wonder why engineers are laughed at?
One guy starts talking about what his kids are wearing for Halloween.
The next guy mentions how getting a dog is good experience for when you have kids.
Then another guy talks about watching Sesame Street.
Soon someone is doing a Grover impression, running back and forth in the lab doing a near and far demonstration.
And they wonder why engineers are laughed at?
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Pole Dancing
A few women at work want to see if they can get enough women to set up a Pole dancing class. I was asked and my first thought was:
“If I tried something like that, I just know it would end up on You Tube.”
So, that’s a no.
“If I tried something like that, I just know it would end up on You Tube.”
So, that’s a no.
All I Want for Christmas…
While we were eating supper, The Girl blurted out
“All I want for Christmas is a baby Brother or Sister.”
Me:” It takes a long time to have a kid.”
The Girl: “So, adopt”
Me: “That’s not that easy either – it’s not like you can go up to a vending machine and put in some money and select the one that you want!”
Well, the ending machine idea set off the rest of them:
“what if their heads got stuck in the door”
“what if you pressed the wrong button by accident and got a baby that you didn’t want”
“what if the baby got stuck and you had to put in more money and then ended up with two”
“what if the one you wanted was in the end of a row and you ended up with a bunch of babies on the floor to get to the one you really wanted”
My family should really come with a caution advisory.
“All I want for Christmas is a baby Brother or Sister.”
Me:” It takes a long time to have a kid.”
The Girl: “So, adopt”
Me: “That’s not that easy either – it’s not like you can go up to a vending machine and put in some money and select the one that you want!”
Well, the ending machine idea set off the rest of them:
“what if their heads got stuck in the door”
“what if you pressed the wrong button by accident and got a baby that you didn’t want”
“what if the baby got stuck and you had to put in more money and then ended up with two”
“what if the one you wanted was in the end of a row and you ended up with a bunch of babies on the floor to get to the one you really wanted”
My family should really come with a caution advisory.
Cirque Du Soleil
So, we scored some awesome tickets to Cirque Du Soleil. For all 4 of us. We went two years ago when they were in town and the kids were in Australia with their dad. The kids were pissed that they had missed it.
We bought tickets to the next show, but we screwed up and it was a Cirque Du Soleil Concert.
We managed to see another show, Ka, in Vegas, but again without the kids. When we stopped in Vegas on the way back from Texas we saw Mystere with The Girl. So this was the first one for The Boy.
Luckily we managed to get front row seats. It was amazing. At one point someone almost slid completely off the stage and landed in The Boy’s lap – his eyes were so wide. A lot of the performers waved to The Girl when they were on the edge of the stage, so she loved it too. My favorite part was seeing my family’s expression of awe and happiness.
We bought tickets to the next show, but we screwed up and it was a Cirque Du Soleil Concert.
We managed to see another show, Ka, in Vegas, but again without the kids. When we stopped in Vegas on the way back from Texas we saw Mystere with The Girl. So this was the first one for The Boy.
Luckily we managed to get front row seats. It was amazing. At one point someone almost slid completely off the stage and landed in The Boy’s lap – his eyes were so wide. A lot of the performers waved to The Girl when they were on the edge of the stage, so she loved it too. My favorite part was seeing my family’s expression of awe and happiness.
Cauliflower for Lunch
Since we didn’t have the kids this week na dI spent the weekend at Guide Camp, I haven’t gotten my act together to get groceries. When I tried to pack up a lunch for today, all I had left, healthy wise, was cauliflower and baby carrots.
So I was sitting at my desk crunching the cauliflower when D stopped by.
The guys called and want to go for lunch.
Oh, you’re already eating.
Wait – you’re eating cauliflower?
Ok, get rid of that – you are coming to lunch. Now.
Vietnamese soup beats cauliflower every time.
So I was sitting at my desk crunching the cauliflower when D stopped by.
The guys called and want to go for lunch.
Oh, you’re already eating.
Wait – you’re eating cauliflower?
Ok, get rid of that – you are coming to lunch. Now.
Vietnamese soup beats cauliflower every time.
Meat Market
Hey – anyone want a meat poster. They were free but I had to order a minimum of 25.
I walked around to the next row of cubicles and had a look.
All the guys were huddled around. I expected something unsavory, but no, it was actually a poster depicting all the cuts of meat possible.
I couldn’t help myself.
“What? No firemen?”
The guys burst out laughing, but now they are threatening to surprise me with something special. I should really learn to stay at my desk and keep my mouth shut!
I walked around to the next row of cubicles and had a look.
All the guys were huddled around. I expected something unsavory, but no, it was actually a poster depicting all the cuts of meat possible.
I couldn’t help myself.
“What? No firemen?”
The guys burst out laughing, but now they are threatening to surprise me with something special. I should really learn to stay at my desk and keep my mouth shut!
Careful what you wish for...
Someone quit – I am now first alternate for the egress training.
Crap. The fear of getting dunked in a pool is now overtaking the excitement of going away on course.
Double Crap. Just found out the course is run in Halifax, not Connecticut.
Crap. The fear of getting dunked in a pool is now overtaking the excitement of going away on course.
Double Crap. Just found out the course is run in Halifax, not Connecticut.
WTF?
Two days after camp and I’m still cold. How the hell am I going to pull off winter camping in February.
Mom, my heard hurts
The Girl made it until noon before calling from school and asking to come home. I had spent the day on the couch when I got home form camp so I know exactly how she feels.
Happiness is
Hubby unloading the camping supplies from the trailer while I take an extra long shower.
Guide Camp
Guide camp was awesome. Some highlights:
- the girls realizing that they didn’t have heat or lights in their cabins
- the girls realizing that the Leaders had lights in this cabins
- cooking dough over the fire
- experimenting with toppings when we found out we forgot the syrup for the French toast
- three teams screaming for everyone to break the Pink team’s balloons
- gagging during the food challenge
- three teams almost breaking into a fist fight while digging up the volley ball court looking for the last box of matches
- building big enough fires to light the sparklers suspended about the fire pits
- skits at the campfire
- the girls realizing that they didn’t have heat or lights in their cabins
- the girls realizing that the Leaders had lights in this cabins
- cooking dough over the fire
- experimenting with toppings when we found out we forgot the syrup for the French toast
- three teams screaming for everyone to break the Pink team’s balloons
- gagging during the food challenge
- three teams almost breaking into a fist fight while digging up the volley ball court looking for the last box of matches
- building big enough fires to light the sparklers suspended about the fire pits
- skits at the campfire
The Good Girl
On the way home from Girl Guides, The Girl tells me:
“Mom, I got sent to principals’ office today.”
I start to imagine the phone call and the trip to the Principal’s office that makes me feel like I’m in trouble and the look they give you for not raising your kid right. Working mom guilt.
“What for? What did you do?”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t in trouble, I was a witness.”
“To what”
“A boy called my friend a lot of bad names and then ran away. My friend wanted to follow him and beat him up but I held him back and told him to tell the teacher instead.”
“Wow, that’s cool, I’m really proud of you.”
“The boy is really happy now too.”
“Why would he be happy?”
“Because we got to choose his punishment. We decided to just give him a warning because if he got into trouble he wouldn’t be able to play hockey and he just made the team.”
All the fights to do homework, clean her room, brush her teeth. They are nothing compared to the moments like this.
“Mom, I got sent to principals’ office today.”
I start to imagine the phone call and the trip to the Principal’s office that makes me feel like I’m in trouble and the look they give you for not raising your kid right. Working mom guilt.
“What for? What did you do?”
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t in trouble, I was a witness.”
“To what”
“A boy called my friend a lot of bad names and then ran away. My friend wanted to follow him and beat him up but I held him back and told him to tell the teacher instead.”
“Wow, that’s cool, I’m really proud of you.”
“The boy is really happy now too.”
“Why would he be happy?”
“Because we got to choose his punishment. We decided to just give him a warning because if he got into trouble he wouldn’t be able to play hockey and he just made the team.”
All the fights to do homework, clean her room, brush her teeth. They are nothing compared to the moments like this.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
I Sick
I have been fighting a head cold for the last few days. Luckily the night time cold stuff works and I have been able to sleep. The daytime stuff clears my sinuses but it does a number on my mental faculties.
I was trying to pack the lunches and I needed more bread - there were some extra loaves in the freezer downstairs.
Down I go - oh, while I'm down here, I also need some toothpicks for a craft at Guides tomorrow night. Painters tape - I could use that too.
I get upstairs with the toothpicks and tape, but no bread. Fuck.
Back down stairs but as I head over to the freezer, I see that The Boy has dropped his laundry basket in the middle of the walkway between piles of junk. As I walk over to move it I see that the box of gift bags I have been hoarding has fallen over so I pick all them up which reminds me that D is off to the hospital and I should take the baby gift with me to work so I can stop by on my way home.
I go upstairs and get the baby stuff together. Fuck - I still need the bread.
Back downstairs. Now I know why I procrastinate. At least it is easier to stay on the one task I am doing if I ignore the destruction around me.
I was trying to pack the lunches and I needed more bread - there were some extra loaves in the freezer downstairs.
Down I go - oh, while I'm down here, I also need some toothpicks for a craft at Guides tomorrow night. Painters tape - I could use that too.
I get upstairs with the toothpicks and tape, but no bread. Fuck.
Back down stairs but as I head over to the freezer, I see that The Boy has dropped his laundry basket in the middle of the walkway between piles of junk. As I walk over to move it I see that the box of gift bags I have been hoarding has fallen over so I pick all them up which reminds me that D is off to the hospital and I should take the baby gift with me to work so I can stop by on my way home.
I go upstairs and get the baby stuff together. Fuck - I still need the bread.
Back downstairs. Now I know why I procrastinate. At least it is easier to stay on the one task I am doing if I ignore the destruction around me.
Monday, September 29, 2008
At the Park
The Girl's dad was supposed to pick her up for the weekend and while she was waiting she went to the park to play with some friends.
Her dad called when he was on his way and I told him to swing by the park first...
"Is she still at the park?"
"Yes, her bike should be there."
"What color is her bike?"
"Red and yellow - you bought it for her!"
"OK, I see it, but I don't see her. Wait, there she is, she just fell out of a tree."
Ummm. Something about the apple not falling far from the tree...
Her dad called when he was on his way and I told him to swing by the park first...
"Is she still at the park?"
"Yes, her bike should be there."
"What color is her bike?"
"Red and yellow - you bought it for her!"
"OK, I see it, but I don't see her. Wait, there she is, she just fell out of a tree."
Ummm. Something about the apple not falling far from the tree...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Out of my Funk
I have been complained the last two weeks that I just can’t seem to settle down and get anything done.
I open my file, stare at it until it’s time for coffee. Then stare some more until lunch. Soon after that it’s tea time then before I know it I can go home. Day after day I have been closing the file with nothing done to it.
I was heading that was again today but when I got back form my desk after tea (so, almost the end of the day) a co-worked asked if we could talk. Seems she just got reprimanded for not progressing in her schedule enough. Holy shit – that could have been me, and I still might be next.
Ok – I get the message, I have actually accomplished more in the last hour than the last 2 weeks. Hopefully I will still feel the impending doom after my three day weekend and that will keep me from slipping back into my funk.
I open my file, stare at it until it’s time for coffee. Then stare some more until lunch. Soon after that it’s tea time then before I know it I can go home. Day after day I have been closing the file with nothing done to it.
I was heading that was again today but when I got back form my desk after tea (so, almost the end of the day) a co-worked asked if we could talk. Seems she just got reprimanded for not progressing in her schedule enough. Holy shit – that could have been me, and I still might be next.
Ok – I get the message, I have actually accomplished more in the last hour than the last 2 weeks. Hopefully I will still feel the impending doom after my three day weekend and that will keep me from slipping back into my funk.
Omen
I was waling down the hallway and my Program Manger was walking in front of me. He was playing with a green yo-yo.
What they hell?
Is this the newest form of stress release?
I know our program is in a rough spot, but this is not confidence inspiring leadership.
What they hell?
Is this the newest form of stress release?
I know our program is in a rough spot, but this is not confidence inspiring leadership.
Bathrooms
Public washrooms are gross and disgusting at the best of times. Workplace bathrooms are ugly on a whole other level. Not only do they fall under the public washroom category, but you ‘know’ the people who are using them.
How do you chat with someone by the photocopier after knowing they just desecrated the bathroom. What do you do when someone holds a door open for you when you know that they don’t wash their hands? How do you look a manager in the eye after hearing the guys talk about how he corners them for meetings when they are standing at the urinal. What do people think after sitting in the stall next to you?
I hate using the washrooms at work.
I try to space it out and go at ‘off’ times. Or stop at a random bathroom when I need to walk to another building.
Right now, the bathrooms on our floor are under construction. So the one on the floor above us is seeing double traffic. To make things worse this morning, the one above us was being cleaned, so I had to go up an additional floor – triple duty! Now that is just gross.
How do you chat with someone by the photocopier after knowing they just desecrated the bathroom. What do you do when someone holds a door open for you when you know that they don’t wash their hands? How do you look a manager in the eye after hearing the guys talk about how he corners them for meetings when they are standing at the urinal. What do people think after sitting in the stall next to you?
I hate using the washrooms at work.
I try to space it out and go at ‘off’ times. Or stop at a random bathroom when I need to walk to another building.
Right now, the bathrooms on our floor are under construction. So the one on the floor above us is seeing double traffic. To make things worse this morning, the one above us was being cleaned, so I had to go up an additional floor – triple duty! Now that is just gross.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Trashy Girls
I am back working with the Girl Guides again. I missed it the year we were in Texas.
Last night we were cleaning up the park. The girls were paired up with a garbage bag and they all had pink non-latex gloves. They were more interested in playing with the gloves than picking up garbage.
I told them the team with the most garbage would win the choice of a game or a song.
Boom! They were off and running.
"Can we go over there?"
"Yes, as long as we can still see you."
"What about over there?"
"Yes, but you can't take any garbage out of the garbage cans."
"Rats."
I'm not sure if they are getting the correct lesson out of tonight's meeting.
Last night we were cleaning up the park. The girls were paired up with a garbage bag and they all had pink non-latex gloves. They were more interested in playing with the gloves than picking up garbage.
I told them the team with the most garbage would win the choice of a game or a song.
Boom! They were off and running.
"Can we go over there?"
"Yes, as long as we can still see you."
"What about over there?"
"Yes, but you can't take any garbage out of the garbage cans."
"Rats."
I'm not sure if they are getting the correct lesson out of tonight's meeting.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I’m so lonely
D’s blood pressure got too high so she has to stay at home until baby comes.
I just spent a year in Texas with no one to hang out with, now I have to go another year while she is off on maternity leave. This sucks.
I guess I am going to have to play nice and make some new friends.
I just spent a year in Texas with no one to hang out with, now I have to go another year while she is off on maternity leave. This sucks.
I guess I am going to have to play nice and make some new friends.
Egress Training
I am on the standyby list for helicopter egress training. If a spot comes free on the course I may get to go.
The cool part – the course is going to be run in New York and Hubby will come down and we will turn it into a bit of a trip.
The not so cool part – I get strapped into a helicopter cockpit and dumped into a deep pool to see if I can get out alive.
I really should start thinking these things through before I open my mouth.
The cool part – the course is going to be run in New York and Hubby will come down and we will turn it into a bit of a trip.
The not so cool part – I get strapped into a helicopter cockpit and dumped into a deep pool to see if I can get out alive.
I really should start thinking these things through before I open my mouth.
I don’t remember you…
When I got back from Texas a woman a work said she remembered meeting me before I left, I didn’t remember her, but I’m not great at people so I didn’t think much of it.
Toady she walked into my cubical and announced that she finally figured out who I was… I did good to remember meeting her again when I got back from Texas.
Turns out we were on the same course at CFB Borden back in 92-93. Not only did she remember me, she remembered that I was there early to teach the prep course, where I was posted and that I got married and left the military.
I still don’t remember who she is or even find her vaguely familiar.
I guess she could just be one of those people that is really good at remembering faces, but I can’t help feeling that I did something to stand out, in a bad way, and that is why she remember so much about me. Not only that, but people would have been talking about me after the course for her to know about me getting married and leaving the military. I’m not sure I like that. I have always been one to fade into the background. I am most comfortable there.
Toady she walked into my cubical and announced that she finally figured out who I was… I did good to remember meeting her again when I got back from Texas.
Turns out we were on the same course at CFB Borden back in 92-93. Not only did she remember me, she remembered that I was there early to teach the prep course, where I was posted and that I got married and left the military.
I still don’t remember who she is or even find her vaguely familiar.
I guess she could just be one of those people that is really good at remembering faces, but I can’t help feeling that I did something to stand out, in a bad way, and that is why she remember so much about me. Not only that, but people would have been talking about me after the course for her to know about me getting married and leaving the military. I’m not sure I like that. I have always been one to fade into the background. I am most comfortable there.
I'm a Loser Because
I am wearing cricket pants today – they are making a chirping noise when I walk.
Conversations with The Girl
I am glad I am not a boy.
Um, Ok. Why?
Because when they have to use a public washroom and another boy comes in, they can see your balls.
Um, Ok. Why?
Because when they have to use a public washroom and another boy comes in, they can see your balls.
Blocked
My e-mail to my sister gets blocked because her company doesn’t like the work ass. It won’t even accept a$$. Fuckheads. There, how do you like that word!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
WTF?
The washroom renovation is continuing. They are going to shut down ours any day now and then we are going to have to go upstairs. Our floor is the only one in the building that has the men and women’s’ washrooms reversed compared to the rest of the floors. I know I am going to fuck it up.
At least I won’t be the only one.
I went into the washroom and someone was in a stall desecrating the place. I quickly did my business and the other woman had finished and was at the sink when I came out of my stall.
Thoughts:
Bad ponytail
OMG, she’s tall.
OMG she really looks like a dude.
Then ‘she’ looks at me and screams “Oh my God! I’m in the wrong washroom!” and he bolted past me and out the door.
At least I won’t be the only one.
I went into the washroom and someone was in a stall desecrating the place. I quickly did my business and the other woman had finished and was at the sink when I came out of my stall.
Thoughts:
Bad ponytail
OMG, she’s tall.
OMG she really looks like a dude.
Then ‘she’ looks at me and screams “Oh my God! I’m in the wrong washroom!” and he bolted past me and out the door.
The Dump
The neighbors needed to borrow our utility trailer so I finally had the incentive to pull it out of the trees, hitch it up and take it to the dump to get rid of all the branches we cut down 2 months ago.
I like the dump. Not the smelly dump where the garbage is rotting, but the treasure side of the dump. My dad took me to the dump all the time when I was a kid. We didn’t have Wal-Mart when I was a kid. The dump was better than a toy tore. While Dad was throwing all the garbage bags onto the burning piles (garbage fires were cool, If you could get past the smell) I got to crawl through the scrap metal piles and I was allowed to bring home bike parts, mostly wheels for the go-cart that never got built. On a good day, there was a newer style fridge with magnetic doors that I could cut open and get the long strips of magnets out. If we were really lucky we got to go at night and watch the bears come out and root though the garbage.
The closest cool garbage memory my kids have is watching the garbage truck at the end of our drive way ‘eat’ the old couch we put out.
Now that I am older, I can’t imagine taking the kids to a field trip to the dump. Of course, my kids have never rode down the highway in the back of a pick-up truck, taken off on a snowmobile on their own, rode a mini-bike wearing shorts and t-shirts or hitchhiked. Some days I am amazed I survived my childhood, other days I am sad that my kids might be missing out on theirs.
I like the dump. Not the smelly dump where the garbage is rotting, but the treasure side of the dump. My dad took me to the dump all the time when I was a kid. We didn’t have Wal-Mart when I was a kid. The dump was better than a toy tore. While Dad was throwing all the garbage bags onto the burning piles (garbage fires were cool, If you could get past the smell) I got to crawl through the scrap metal piles and I was allowed to bring home bike parts, mostly wheels for the go-cart that never got built. On a good day, there was a newer style fridge with magnetic doors that I could cut open and get the long strips of magnets out. If we were really lucky we got to go at night and watch the bears come out and root though the garbage.
The closest cool garbage memory my kids have is watching the garbage truck at the end of our drive way ‘eat’ the old couch we put out.
Now that I am older, I can’t imagine taking the kids to a field trip to the dump. Of course, my kids have never rode down the highway in the back of a pick-up truck, taken off on a snowmobile on their own, rode a mini-bike wearing shorts and t-shirts or hitchhiked. Some days I am amazed I survived my childhood, other days I am sad that my kids might be missing out on theirs.
Happiness is
Remembering to throw my banana peel in the kitchen garbage so it doesn’t ferment for a week in my cubicle garbage.
It’s the little things.
It’s the little things.
I'm a Loser Because
I was the last one to present today and we ran out of time so I have to continue my presentation tomorrow. I only had two outfits so what the hell am I going to wear tomorrow? Shit.
WTF?
High tech company and to print on 11x17 paper, we have to stand by the printer and feed in one sheet at a time or it will jam. It has been like this for 3 years.
I'm a Loser Because
My eye is swollen again and it turns out I do have to present in the meeting today.
Stupid Meeting
So, boss says I’m not presenting after all. I can come to the introductions and then leave.
Fine. D was told the same thing.
We head down and take a place at the conference table. Boss starts the meeting and skips the introduction and heads right into the action time review. D and I look at each other ‘what the fuck do we do now. We were told to leave after the introduction so the customer could meet us, but he skipped it. Do we just stand up and walk out?
We decided we had better stay until there was a break, luckily one of the customers stopped bossman and asked for an introduction.
We did out thing they stood up and walked out. We grumbled all the way back to our desks that we felt like we were dismissed.
No sooner do we make it to our desks and an e-mail pops up form the chief telling us he wants us in attendance for the entire first day.
What? Not only did we get up and leave a meeting that had just started, but now we have to walk back into it?
Fuck.
Fine – we walked in and took seats in the very back of the room and sat there for the rest of the day. At one point D asked if I had heard what someone had said. Honestly, no. thoughts going through my head:
- Buddy in front of me has a massive head.
- Dude over there has a scar on the side of his head
- Big head whistles when he talks
- I don’t think she is wearing a bra.
- Cookies, cookies, cookies start with C
- Scar head has demonic looking eyebrows
- Minute taker is typing with one finger
Fine. D was told the same thing.
We head down and take a place at the conference table. Boss starts the meeting and skips the introduction and heads right into the action time review. D and I look at each other ‘what the fuck do we do now. We were told to leave after the introduction so the customer could meet us, but he skipped it. Do we just stand up and walk out?
We decided we had better stay until there was a break, luckily one of the customers stopped bossman and asked for an introduction.
We did out thing they stood up and walked out. We grumbled all the way back to our desks that we felt like we were dismissed.
No sooner do we make it to our desks and an e-mail pops up form the chief telling us he wants us in attendance for the entire first day.
What? Not only did we get up and leave a meeting that had just started, but now we have to walk back into it?
Fuck.
Fine – we walked in and took seats in the very back of the room and sat there for the rest of the day. At one point D asked if I had heard what someone had said. Honestly, no. thoughts going through my head:
- Buddy in front of me has a massive head.
- Dude over there has a scar on the side of his head
- Big head whistles when he talks
- I don’t think she is wearing a bra.
- Cookies, cookies, cookies start with C
- Scar head has demonic looking eyebrows
- Minute taker is typing with one finger
I Love my Boys
Hubby and The Boy voted on which outfit I should wear for the big meeting. The Boy though I should go with his pick due to his great fashion sense. It’s hard to take a kid seriously when he is wearing lime green plaid shorts.
Porn is bad for your health.
Since I worked offsite for year, I offered to use my account to run our programs remotely in the conference room.
It meant that I had to give my passwords over to the guy running the computer for the meeting.
I was ok with it since they were due to be changed anyway.
We headed to the conference room to make sure everything was working…
“You sure you don’t’ mind me knowing your passwords?”
“No, I will just change them after the meeting”
“It means I will have access to all your files”
“It’s ok, every since the company started blocking the porn sites, there really isn’t anything to go looking at any more”
The guy in front of us walked into the door. Then he tried to deny he was listening in on our conversation.
Yeah, right.
It meant that I had to give my passwords over to the guy running the computer for the meeting.
I was ok with it since they were due to be changed anyway.
We headed to the conference room to make sure everything was working…
“You sure you don’t’ mind me knowing your passwords?”
“No, I will just change them after the meeting”
“It means I will have access to all your files”
“It’s ok, every since the company started blocking the porn sites, there really isn’t anything to go looking at any more”
The guy in front of us walked into the door. Then he tried to deny he was listening in on our conversation.
Yeah, right.
Credibility
“I would like you to present in the meeting tomorrow, it will help build your credibility with the customer.”
Fuck. That means I have to wear a dress.
Fuck. That means I have to wear a dress.
Monday, September 8, 2008
WTF?
They have started renovation the men’s washrooms on our floor. Getting through the last hour of the day is hard enough without the concert of power tools.
WTF?
So our washroom wasn’t actually being cleaned for 2 hour s- you just forgot to move the sign off the door. Fuckhead.
I'm a Loser Because
I took some sort of reaction to the eyebrow waxing. Everything is red and puffy and one eye is swollen half shut.
Why did it have to wait until Monday morning to puff up?
Captain of the D Team
The Boy was Captain of the Defense team for the game this weekend- the big game against the bad scary team.
Our guys won! Last week the D team held the opposition at 10 yards for eight straight plays! He is awesome!
Our guys won! Last week the D team held the opposition at 10 yards for eight straight plays! He is awesome!
Glad I don’t play hockey?
I figured skating was a life lesson ad something that every Canadian should be able to do, so I didn’t mind putting The Boy in lessons. Hockey is a huge deal in Canada, so I though he should be able to play that as well, so he was enrolled in that when he was old enough. He had all the equipment and good skates.
I figured, just because we had a girl, it wouldn’t matter, we would pass down the skates and equipment to her.
The Girl, age 3: I’m not going to play hockey.
Me: what do you mean?
The Girl: I want to dance on the ice.
Fuck. Figure skating? Cutesy outfits? The parents? Competitions? Ugh.
I got her the skates and put her Can Skate. She was 3. halfway through the year, a coach asked if she could train her. Great.
She started at 4, I would only let her go once a week. At 7 she went to her first competition, she placed third against kids who had been skating a lot longer and at least 3 times a week. I gave in and let her start training. The next year she was first.
7 years after I gave up on her playing hockey:
Got the skates, winter coat, warm blanket and a book for the afternoon skating lessons.
Got The Girl all set up and timed it so we came out of the dressing room just as the Zamboni was finishing.
The Girl was just about to step on the ice and the fire alarm went off. Fuck.
She put her skate guards on and we headed out to the parking lot.
There was a Girls hockey game going on at the rink next to us. They don’t wear skate guards. The parents had to carry their kids out.
To top it off, it was raining. I grabbed the umbrellas from the car and The Girl and I huddled underneath one and lent the other to another skater. The Hockey girls were being piggy backed by their parents, a few were sitting on the wet sidewalk with parents holding the umbrellas over them.
The Girl: Aren’t you glad I don’t play hockey.
Me, truthfully: Yes, I am.
I figured, just because we had a girl, it wouldn’t matter, we would pass down the skates and equipment to her.
The Girl, age 3: I’m not going to play hockey.
Me: what do you mean?
The Girl: I want to dance on the ice.
Fuck. Figure skating? Cutesy outfits? The parents? Competitions? Ugh.
I got her the skates and put her Can Skate. She was 3. halfway through the year, a coach asked if she could train her. Great.
She started at 4, I would only let her go once a week. At 7 she went to her first competition, she placed third against kids who had been skating a lot longer and at least 3 times a week. I gave in and let her start training. The next year she was first.
7 years after I gave up on her playing hockey:
Got the skates, winter coat, warm blanket and a book for the afternoon skating lessons.
Got The Girl all set up and timed it so we came out of the dressing room just as the Zamboni was finishing.
The Girl was just about to step on the ice and the fire alarm went off. Fuck.
She put her skate guards on and we headed out to the parking lot.
There was a Girls hockey game going on at the rink next to us. They don’t wear skate guards. The parents had to carry their kids out.
To top it off, it was raining. I grabbed the umbrellas from the car and The Girl and I huddled underneath one and lent the other to another skater. The Hockey girls were being piggy backed by their parents, a few were sitting on the wet sidewalk with parents holding the umbrellas over them.
The Girl: Aren’t you glad I don’t play hockey.
Me, truthfully: Yes, I am.
TGIF
I get to meet a friend at the spa to get pedicures and remove my uni-brow. Two hours of kicking back and catching up. $70
As soon as I get home, I get to go out with a different friend for supper and catch up on the last year. $30
I get to come home to my awesome husband. Priceless.
As soon as I get home, I get to go out with a different friend for supper and catch up on the last year. $30
I get to come home to my awesome husband. Priceless.
I'm a Loser Because
I was too lazy to stop fro gas after skating last night. Then I drove to work on empty because I didn’t want to stop on the way to work. I filled up at lunch, and the gauge was so low that it didn’t move when I turned the truck on and I drove around the block to the gas station with the air conditioner off to save on fuel – and it was 30 C outside!
I'm a Loser Because
I have thrown two banana peels in my cub garbage and it isn’t going to picked up for a week. Do I pick them out or let them ferment?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
One of those days…
Co-Irker: have you ever had one of those days when you feel like you’re just banging your head against a brick wall.
Me: A Day? Hell , that’s my whole life.
Me: A Day? Hell , that’s my whole life.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Sisterly Love
I shoved my cell phone in my pocket without turning off the display and somehow the right combination of screen touches managed to call my sister’s cell.
I heard her voice mail message and ended the call. I thought about sending her an e-mail to let her know that the call was a mistake, but decided not to since she never returns calls anyway.
Sure enough, I got into work this morning and there was a message from my sister returning my call.
Dingbat.
I heard her voice mail message and ended the call. I thought about sending her an e-mail to let her know that the call was a mistake, but decided not to since she never returns calls anyway.
Sure enough, I got into work this morning and there was a message from my sister returning my call.
Dingbat.
Pretty in Pink
The Boy decided to take the plunge and beat his buddy to being the first one to wear the pink shirt.Happy Birthday
The Boy’s buddies descended on the house after school. The hung out in the basement and rocked out to Rock band and tried out some demo games The Boy had downloaded.
The pigged out on pizza, chips and ice cream cake and went for a swim.
Hopefully it was a good start to the Teen Years and the school year.
The pigged out on pizza, chips and ice cream cake and went for a swim.
Hopefully it was a good start to the Teen Years and the school year.
1st Day of School
I left this morning before the kids got up, but Hubby got a few shots for me. The Boy took off as soon as possible to head out for his bus, he is so excited to get back to school. Hubby and The Girl walked down to her stop and almost missed the bus – the website had the wrong time up and I even confirmed it with the school last week! Luckily, the bus heads towards our house after her stop so the driver picked her up.
One Kid’s Menu
The Boy picked Red Lobster for his birthday meal. We went a day early so he could have his buddies over for pizza on his actual birthday which happened to be their first day of school.
The hostess looked at us and said ‘One kid’s menu’. The Boy beamed. Finally, he was not asked if he wanted a kid or adult menu.
He’s all grown up.
The hostess looked at us and said ‘One kid’s menu’. The Boy beamed. Finally, he was not asked if he wanted a kid or adult menu.
He’s all grown up.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Conversations with The Girl
Picking up our lunch order at Tim’s and passing it to The Girl:
Me: Here is my coffee. Here is Mike’s coffee. Here are your donuts.
The Girl: I know, I can’t have it until I finish my lunch.
Me: Yup, and here is the chili.
The Girl: I’m not eating that.
Me: I know, it’s for me and Mike, you can have a sandwich when we get home.
The Girl: It’s gross.
Me: It’s in a bag, you can just place it on the floor.
The Girl: I’m not sleeping with you guys tonight.
Me: That’s why we are eating it!
Me: Here is my coffee. Here is Mike’s coffee. Here are your donuts.
The Girl: I know, I can’t have it until I finish my lunch.
Me: Yup, and here is the chili.
The Girl: I’m not eating that.
Me: I know, it’s for me and Mike, you can have a sandwich when we get home.
The Girl: It’s gross.
Me: It’s in a bag, you can just place it on the floor.
The Girl: I’m not sleeping with you guys tonight.
Me: That’s why we are eating it!
Skates
With back to school goes extracurricular activates. Otherwise know as – parental hell. Figure Skating starts right away and I suck so I had to go buy skates at the last minute.
We prepared our skate shopping survival kit – food, drinks, electronics and headed off.
Not a bad start – only 15 minutes until our number got called. Then began the 45 minutes of the skate fitting. They them on – walk laps around the store. Try different insoles, have the ankles punches out.
Wait for the fitting inspection so the transaction can be completed.
Then get in line to have the guards cut and fitted.
Then get in line to have them sharpened. It is suck a sickening feeling as you are sitting there having your fitting done and you watch one person after another coming in and getting their skates sharpened. Some have more than one pair. Each pair being dropped off means another 10 minutes we will have to wait for ours.
While we are waiting for the sharpening, the old skates get put on consignment, then it’s to the fitting room to try on outfits, then figure out which set of tights are the ones we need – footed, non-footed, stirrup, boot, shiny, semi-shiny, matte. Kill me know.
Pay for everything with a second mortgage.
Still a 30 min wait for the skates.
If I ever get three wishes from a Genie – I will use all three o ensure that I never had to buy another pair of skates ever again.
We prepared our skate shopping survival kit – food, drinks, electronics and headed off.
Not a bad start – only 15 minutes until our number got called. Then began the 45 minutes of the skate fitting. They them on – walk laps around the store. Try different insoles, have the ankles punches out.
Wait for the fitting inspection so the transaction can be completed.
Then get in line to have the guards cut and fitted.
Then get in line to have them sharpened. It is suck a sickening feeling as you are sitting there having your fitting done and you watch one person after another coming in and getting their skates sharpened. Some have more than one pair. Each pair being dropped off means another 10 minutes we will have to wait for ours.
While we are waiting for the sharpening, the old skates get put on consignment, then it’s to the fitting room to try on outfits, then figure out which set of tights are the ones we need – footed, non-footed, stirrup, boot, shiny, semi-shiny, matte. Kill me know.
Pay for everything with a second mortgage.
Still a 30 min wait for the skates.
If I ever get three wishes from a Genie – I will use all three o ensure that I never had to buy another pair of skates ever again.
Sorting through the School Supplies
The Girl and I headed out to pick up a few more things, including her back pack. When we got home we dumped out all the supplies and sorted through everything, labeled them and packed them up.
The Girl spent all afternoon ‘playing’ with her supplies. There is something about going through all the new supplies – it just gives a warm fuzzy feeling. The excitement of starting a new year, seeing all your old friends, how will be in your class, who is your teacher.
Then I realized I had to pack lunches into the nice clean new lunch boxes and that killed all the joy instantly.
The Girl spent all afternoon ‘playing’ with her supplies. There is something about going through all the new supplies – it just gives a warm fuzzy feeling. The excitement of starting a new year, seeing all your old friends, how will be in your class, who is your teacher.
Then I realized I had to pack lunches into the nice clean new lunch boxes and that killed all the joy instantly.
Detained at the Border
The Boy got an offer to go the US to do keep his buddy company while they did some back to school clothes shopping. He wanted a few polo shirts so it was ok. After the $41 with The Girl, I spoke with the other mom and gave detailed instructions of what he was allowed to buy and how much he was allowed to spend.
We do a lot of international travel, so The Boy has his passport and I gave them a letter as well. No problem going in, but coming back into Canada they got stopped because The Boy is a US citizen. It was never an issue travelling with me, but the officer was convinced they were abducting him. He couldn’t wrap his closed mind around the fact that The Boy was born in the US to military parents who moved back to Canada. They were pulled out of line and questioned and eventually let through, but it was crap. The Boy was old enough to speak for himself and the asshole had all mine and his father’s numbers to call if he needed them.
He came back with 2 polo shirts – one of them was pink. PINK. Everything else in his wardrobe is black and has skulls on it. I just shook my head. It turns out both the boys bought the pink shirts, now they can’t decide who is going to wear it to school first.
We think that wearing it first would be best, because if you go second you would look like you were copying. Can’t wait to see how this one turns out.
We do a lot of international travel, so The Boy has his passport and I gave them a letter as well. No problem going in, but coming back into Canada they got stopped because The Boy is a US citizen. It was never an issue travelling with me, but the officer was convinced they were abducting him. He couldn’t wrap his closed mind around the fact that The Boy was born in the US to military parents who moved back to Canada. They were pulled out of line and questioned and eventually let through, but it was crap. The Boy was old enough to speak for himself and the asshole had all mine and his father’s numbers to call if he needed them.
He came back with 2 polo shirts – one of them was pink. PINK. Everything else in his wardrobe is black and has skulls on it. I just shook my head. It turns out both the boys bought the pink shirts, now they can’t decide who is going to wear it to school first.
We think that wearing it first would be best, because if you go second you would look like you were copying. Can’t wait to see how this one turns out.
Start of a 4 Day Weekend
How do you start a 4 Day weekend, the last weekend of summer – go to Staples and do all the back to school shopping in one go.
It’s like ripping off a bandaid – it stings, but only for a minute. Ok, it was 20 minutes of trying to find the right color binders and folders and routing through picked over supplies looking for a ruler, but it is over.
It’s like ripping off a bandaid – it stings, but only for a minute. Ok, it was 20 minutes of trying to find the right color binders and folders and routing through picked over supplies looking for a ruler, but it is over.
Where’s my $41?
The Girl went shopping with a friend a few weeks ago and I gave her $20. She spent it at the Bulk Barn – on candy! I was pissed and told her that she had to share the candy.
Her friend was getting dropped off at our house and when her mom walked in she asked: Where’s my $41?
Me: What $41?
Other Mom: The Girl bought some stuff at the toy store, she said you would give me the money.
Ok, you let The Girl spend $20 on candy and then gave her another $40 for toys? WTF? Because a 10 year old told you it was ok?
The Girl got a stern lecture on money – yes, she did have enough allowance to cover it, but she can’t just buy whatever. She had been dropped off at her father’s after the shopping spree so this was the first I had heard of it.
The other mom talked to me later and apologized, she admitted she just wasn’t thinking. She believed that The Girl was good for the money (she was) and she had bought Webkins which she thought was an acceptable purchase and something I would have let her buy (yes).
Lessons learned all around. But I don’t need the shock factor, thank you very much.
Her friend was getting dropped off at our house and when her mom walked in she asked: Where’s my $41?
Me: What $41?
Other Mom: The Girl bought some stuff at the toy store, she said you would give me the money.
Ok, you let The Girl spend $20 on candy and then gave her another $40 for toys? WTF? Because a 10 year old told you it was ok?
The Girl got a stern lecture on money – yes, she did have enough allowance to cover it, but she can’t just buy whatever. She had been dropped off at her father’s after the shopping spree so this was the first I had heard of it.
The other mom talked to me later and apologized, she admitted she just wasn’t thinking. She believed that The Girl was good for the money (she was) and she had bought Webkins which she thought was an acceptable purchase and something I would have let her buy (yes).
Lessons learned all around. But I don’t need the shock factor, thank you very much.
Woman's Creed
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning,
Satan shudders & says...'Oh shit...she's awake!!'
Satan shudders & says...'Oh shit...she's awake!!'
New Plates Part 3
Ok – the manager has confirmed the fax has arrived.
The website says that only 2005 and older needs a safety so my 2007 should be ok.
Them: You need a safety.
Me: No I don’t,
Them: Who told you that?
Me: You did. I stood here when you called and verified that I don’t need one because I was out of the country for less than a year.
Them: Oh – that must be the other one I was helping
Ok – everything is good, the plates will be valid for 14 months, or do you want to extend it so you don’t have to come back next year?
Me: Hell YES. I don’t want to come back for a VERY long time.
The website says that only 2005 and older needs a safety so my 2007 should be ok.
Them: You need a safety.
Me: No I don’t,
Them: Who told you that?
Me: You did. I stood here when you called and verified that I don’t need one because I was out of the country for less than a year.
Them: Oh – that must be the other one I was helping
Ok – everything is good, the plates will be valid for 14 months, or do you want to extend it so you don’t have to come back next year?
Me: Hell YES. I don’t want to come back for a VERY long time.
I'm a Loser Because
I was so pissed of and the price of gas and having to make my 3rd attempt to get plates for the car that I forgot to close my gas cap. That’s ok, the guys at work were nice enough to point it for me. Shit.
Faux Friday
I am finally getting my first compressed Friday off since returning from Texas. It happens to fall before a long weekend so I get a 4 day weekend!
The best part – I was on course for 2 days and didn’t even realize it was my last day for this week!
The best part – I was on course for 2 days and didn’t even realize it was my last day for this week!
I'm a Loser Because
I didn’t take 5 min to gas up at $1.19 last night and now gas is up to $1.26 this morning.
Email from D
Why do you have to be in training today?
The day that I really need a tea.
You suck!
You can’t buy friends like that.
The day that I really need a tea.
You suck!
You can’t buy friends like that.
I control the Canadian Air Force
Our First Aid instructor is fascinated with fighters and had all sorts of questions of what it was like to fly in a F-18.
Instructer: If I go to the Military and tell them that I know you, can I get a flight in an F-18?
J: No, probably not.
Instructer: If I go to the Military and tell them that I know you, can I get a flight in an F-18?
J: No, probably not.
First Aid
Two days on a First Aid course.
Only one other woman, D, and she had to leave for half of the first day – just when we had to start practicing on each other:
Instructor: M, do you have cooties?
M: No.
Instructor: Okay J, you can work with him now, can’t you?
Day 2:
Instructor: OK, one partner get on the floor.
D: Do we have to Touch each other?
J: Yes.
D: Did you have to do this yesterday?
J: Yes.
D: Di you have to actually touch ‘them’ yesterday.
J: Yes.
D: oh, I am sooo sorry.
J: Yup, you owe me big.
Snippets:
Jones’ Law: Murphy was an optimist.
If my mother in law is chocking, do I have to do the Heimlich on her?
New things I learned:
You cannot re-start a heart by CPR alone – it needs to be shocked.
You don’t shock a flat line – all the TV shows are wrong!
Compressions are more important than the breathing – you can skip the breathing all together – too many people refused to do CPR because of the mouth-to-mouth.
Only one other woman, D, and she had to leave for half of the first day – just when we had to start practicing on each other:
Instructor: M, do you have cooties?
M: No.
Instructor: Okay J, you can work with him now, can’t you?
Day 2:
Instructor: OK, one partner get on the floor.
D: Do we have to Touch each other?
J: Yes.
D: Did you have to do this yesterday?
J: Yes.
D: Di you have to actually touch ‘them’ yesterday.
J: Yes.
D: oh, I am sooo sorry.
J: Yup, you owe me big.
Snippets:
Jones’ Law: Murphy was an optimist.
If my mother in law is chocking, do I have to do the Heimlich on her?
New things I learned:
You cannot re-start a heart by CPR alone – it needs to be shocked.
You don’t shock a flat line – all the TV shows are wrong!
Compressions are more important than the breathing – you can skip the breathing all together – too many people refused to do CPR because of the mouth-to-mouth.
The Mom vs The Wasps
The shed came up on the list of things to do this weekend. It would have been cleaned out sooner, but some wasps had moved in while we were away.
They had begun to nest inside a garbage bag full of styrofoam hanging in the corner. Doesn’t everyone have a garbage bag full of styrofoam hanging in their shed? I’m not even sure why it is there, but it has been there for 6 or more years.
The nest has finally gotten big enough to start poking out of the bag. I got up early and suited up.
Work gloves.
Motorcross pants
Workboots
Gortex jacket – with hood
Ski googles.
Two cans of wasp spray.
I went in fast and quiet and hit them while they were still sleeping. I got enough of them that I was able to remove the bag and then de-suit and start breathing. The rest of the morning I worked on cleaning out the shed and killing the stragglers with a fly swatter.
Things found in the shed:
- blow up dinghy and oars
- 5 rolls of burlap
- 4 bags of cement
- Various Christmas lights
- More Styrofoam
- Garden statues
- Tomato plant stands
- Scrap of wood from every project done in the last 11 years.
They had begun to nest inside a garbage bag full of styrofoam hanging in the corner. Doesn’t everyone have a garbage bag full of styrofoam hanging in their shed? I’m not even sure why it is there, but it has been there for 6 or more years.
The nest has finally gotten big enough to start poking out of the bag. I got up early and suited up.
Work gloves.
Motorcross pants
Workboots
Gortex jacket – with hood
Ski googles.
Two cans of wasp spray.
I went in fast and quiet and hit them while they were still sleeping. I got enough of them that I was able to remove the bag and then de-suit and start breathing. The rest of the morning I worked on cleaning out the shed and killing the stragglers with a fly swatter.
Things found in the shed:
- blow up dinghy and oars
- 5 rolls of burlap
- 4 bags of cement
- Various Christmas lights
- More Styrofoam
- Garden statues
- Tomato plant stands
- Scrap of wood from every project done in the last 11 years.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Campfire under the stars
We finally got around to having a campfire in the back yard. Just the two of us.
It was so peaceful and relaxing and we sat around the fire and talked – no music, no tv, no computers, no kids.
After a few hours we put out the fire and laid back on the benches to look at the stars. We were able to pick out a few constellations, saw a few shooting stars and our first satellite.
It was a perfect evening.
It was so peaceful and relaxing and we sat around the fire and talked – no music, no tv, no computers, no kids.
After a few hours we put out the fire and laid back on the benches to look at the stars. We were able to pick out a few constellations, saw a few shooting stars and our first satellite.
It was a perfect evening.
Lessons learned in the Girl Guides
There isn’t much here in Vernon.
I slept in the Community Center once.
During the Ice Storm?
No with the Girl Guides. You hang out with them and you get to sleep around.
Yeah – I guess that can be considered a life savings skill.
I slept in the Community Center once.
During the Ice Storm?
No with the Girl Guides. You hang out with them and you get to sleep around.
Yeah – I guess that can be considered a life savings skill.
New Plates Part 2
Ok, here is the fax from Texas and my customs form
What about your safety and emissions test?
Last week I didn’t need one.
Who told you that?
The person sitting where you are now!
Oh – the Texas paper work has to be faxed directly to us.
Fine.
Ok – we checked and you don’t need a safety. But we won’t know if e-test until we try to register the plates.
What?
The system will tell us.
SO I have to get Texas to fax you, then come back again, then you are going to register my plates and it MIGHT tell me to leave and get an emission test and come back a forth time.
Yes, that is correct.
What about your safety and emissions test?
Last week I didn’t need one.
Who told you that?
The person sitting where you are now!
Oh – the Texas paper work has to be faxed directly to us.
Fine.
Ok – we checked and you don’t need a safety. But we won’t know if e-test until we try to register the plates.
What?
The system will tell us.
SO I have to get Texas to fax you, then come back again, then you are going to register my plates and it MIGHT tell me to leave and get an emission test and come back a forth time.
Yes, that is correct.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I don’t think First Aid training is going to help.
I loved my time in the Air Force. Getting to fly around in helicopter and fighters was an awesome experience.
The down side was that I was in long enough to know the pilots and crew when there were crashes. I also worked with the people who did crash recovery and investigations. I heard lots of stories and, thank God, only had limited exposure to the aftermath of an aircraft crash. Stories about the colored flags – one color for aircraft parts and one color for biological parts.
Today my boss informed me that he signed us all (flight test crew) up for 2 days of first aid training - it could come in handy. Um, don’t think they cover the flags in basic first aid.
The down side was that I was in long enough to know the pilots and crew when there were crashes. I also worked with the people who did crash recovery and investigations. I heard lots of stories and, thank God, only had limited exposure to the aftermath of an aircraft crash. Stories about the colored flags – one color for aircraft parts and one color for biological parts.
Today my boss informed me that he signed us all (flight test crew) up for 2 days of first aid training - it could come in handy. Um, don’t think they cover the flags in basic first aid.
I need to wash my hand
I had lunch with D today. That isn’t abnormal – but she invited me to go along with ‘the girls’. I have never been one of ‘the girls’ so I hesitated and she convinced me that they were ok so I went.
They were really nice and normal and we had a good time, until we were half way though. A guy form work came in the restaurant my himself and the other girls invited him to join us. I already knew that D hated him. I used to work with him and got along fine with him, until his wife represented my ex in our divorce and since then he will not look at or speak to me.
Guess where the only spare chair was – yup. Next to me.
He sat down and became very interested in his menu. I really have nothing against the guy, or his wife, she was just doing her job. We had agreed that neither of us were going to use her because we both worked with her husband. But since the Asshole never honored an agreement when we were married, why should I expect him to honor one when we are getting divorced?
So I decided enough was enough and I started asking him about his kids. I have been to his house for dinner and I knew how much he loved to talk about them. The gate opened and he didn’t look back. His daughter went to the same acting school that The Boy is auditioning for so we had lots to talk about. It’s nice to have that awkwardness gone – to bad it still exists with about 50more people.
I stopped by D’s desk and told her she owed me for running interference for her. To reward me she made me touch her pregnant stomach to see if I could tell what baby body part was sticking out. Gross. I am still not one of those kind of girls. I was completely freaked out and felt like I had violated her so I needed to go and wash my hand. Eeewww.
They were really nice and normal and we had a good time, until we were half way though. A guy form work came in the restaurant my himself and the other girls invited him to join us. I already knew that D hated him. I used to work with him and got along fine with him, until his wife represented my ex in our divorce and since then he will not look at or speak to me.
Guess where the only spare chair was – yup. Next to me.
He sat down and became very interested in his menu. I really have nothing against the guy, or his wife, she was just doing her job. We had agreed that neither of us were going to use her because we both worked with her husband. But since the Asshole never honored an agreement when we were married, why should I expect him to honor one when we are getting divorced?
So I decided enough was enough and I started asking him about his kids. I have been to his house for dinner and I knew how much he loved to talk about them. The gate opened and he didn’t look back. His daughter went to the same acting school that The Boy is auditioning for so we had lots to talk about. It’s nice to have that awkwardness gone – to bad it still exists with about 50more people.
I stopped by D’s desk and told her she owed me for running interference for her. To reward me she made me touch her pregnant stomach to see if I could tell what baby body part was sticking out. Gross. I am still not one of those kind of girls. I was completely freaked out and felt like I had violated her so I needed to go and wash my hand. Eeewww.
Texas fights back.
I have been dreading giving up our Texas license plate. It’s cool. I am the only one I know with one. It’s like a na-na-na-na-boo-boo. You can’t have one.
The best part – when I am a loser driver, people think I am visiting and are nice to me and let me merge or switch lanes at the last minute. Soon it will be back to the “you live here, you should have know better, so fuck off.” Driving that I am used to.
It is the last thing I have to do to end out Texas adventure. Off to the License office. No line up, this should be painless.
Clerk: I need your Texas Title.
Me: I was never given one, I don’t have one.
Clerk: You are going to have to get one.
Me: Huh.
Clerk: Also – I need your customs form.
Me: I wasn’t given one.
Clerk: You are going to have to get one.
Me: Huh.
Clerk: Go away and come back with the correct papers.
Ok, the plates expire in 10 days. Or one work week – next Friday will be the last day because of the holiday weekend..
Customs – yes you need the form, just go to the local office, they will help you.
Ok.
Texas
No, we never gave you a Texas Title, it is still in Canada.
Crap – what the hell do I do now.
This is not going to turn out well.
The best part – when I am a loser driver, people think I am visiting and are nice to me and let me merge or switch lanes at the last minute. Soon it will be back to the “you live here, you should have know better, so fuck off.” Driving that I am used to.
It is the last thing I have to do to end out Texas adventure. Off to the License office. No line up, this should be painless.
Clerk: I need your Texas Title.
Me: I was never given one, I don’t have one.
Clerk: You are going to have to get one.
Me: Huh.
Clerk: Also – I need your customs form.
Me: I wasn’t given one.
Clerk: You are going to have to get one.
Me: Huh.
Clerk: Go away and come back with the correct papers.
Ok, the plates expire in 10 days. Or one work week – next Friday will be the last day because of the holiday weekend..
Customs – yes you need the form, just go to the local office, they will help you.
Ok.
Texas
No, we never gave you a Texas Title, it is still in Canada.
Crap – what the hell do I do now.
This is not going to turn out well.
Conversations with The Girl
I had to make a run to the store last night for some basics. The Girl and her friend, A came along and amused themselves with a People magazine while I drove.
The Girl: I want to see The House Bunny.
A: You can’t it’s rated R. They talk about S-E-X..
The Girl: Look – it says it PG 13.
The Mom: Yeah, we took you to Step Brothers and look how that turned out.
The Girl: That Was PG 14. PG 13, PG 14. 13, 14 there is a big difference.
The Mom: Not really, because you are 10.
The Girl: I watched an R show once.
The Mom: Did not.
The Girl: Did too.
The Mom: When? It was at your father’s wasn’t it?
The Girl: No you said I could watch South Park once with The Boy.
The Mom: It’s not R
A: Yes it is.
The Mom: Crap. Now all those people who think I am a bad parent will know for sure.
A: Yup.
The Mom : What?
A: I am just agreeing with you..
The Mom: Evil child.
A: Yeah, I hear that a lot.
The Girl: I want to see The House Bunny.
A: You can’t it’s rated R. They talk about S-E-X..
The Girl: Look – it says it PG 13.
The Mom: Yeah, we took you to Step Brothers and look how that turned out.
The Girl: That Was PG 14. PG 13, PG 14. 13, 14 there is a big difference.
The Mom: Not really, because you are 10.
The Girl: I watched an R show once.
The Mom: Did not.
The Girl: Did too.
The Mom: When? It was at your father’s wasn’t it?
The Girl: No you said I could watch South Park once with The Boy.
The Mom: It’s not R
A: Yes it is.
The Mom: Crap. Now all those people who think I am a bad parent will know for sure.
A: Yup.
The Mom : What?
A: I am just agreeing with you..
The Mom: Evil child.
A: Yeah, I hear that a lot.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wikipedia Weirdness
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_Was_an_Old_Lady_Who_Swallowed_a_Fly
Because D couldn't remember what was swallowed to get the Dog.
She's having a baby in a few months and these things are important.
Because D couldn't remember what was swallowed to get the Dog.
She's having a baby in a few months and these things are important.
I'm a Loser Because
I have been impatiently waiting for The Boys replacement birth certificate to show up so I can get his replacement health card.
I checked to make sure the bastards hadn't charged my visa and not sent anything and no charges had gone through.
I went through the pile of sticky notes on my desk and found the confirmation number for my order and right under that was my note to call back in an hour - oh yeah - their billing system was down and I had to call back to have them process the payment. Explain why I have been waiting 3 weeks for an express order to show up!
Oops.
I checked to make sure the bastards hadn't charged my visa and not sent anything and no charges had gone through.
I went through the pile of sticky notes on my desk and found the confirmation number for my order and right under that was my note to call back in an hour - oh yeah - their billing system was down and I had to call back to have them process the payment. Explain why I have been waiting 3 weeks for an express order to show up!
Oops.
WTF?
You go to the gym every day at lunch. And Every day you come back from the gym and sit at your desk and eat a bag of chips.
The Doctor Called
She wants to discuss my test results.
I have had too many freak outs over that call to start freaking out just yet.
I asked the office to check with my doctor - usually it's my iron level and I don't wan to leave work to rush in only to be told to go my a bottle of iron pills.
If they call back and I still have to come back, then I will commence with the freaking.
I have had too many freak outs over that call to start freaking out just yet.
I asked the office to check with my doctor - usually it's my iron level and I don't wan to leave work to rush in only to be told to go my a bottle of iron pills.
If they call back and I still have to come back, then I will commence with the freaking.
Neglected Dog
Hubby was in bed when I got home so I started preparing my lunch.
Then I heard a bark – Jessie Dog was at the back door.
I let her in, gave her a treat.
Turns out she was let out 30 minutes ago and then forgotten about.
Oh well, at least it isn’t winter and we are just returning 2 hours later from watching The Boy play in a hockey game to we find The Dog sitting on the front porch.
Then I heard a bark – Jessie Dog was at the back door.
I let her in, gave her a treat.
Turns out she was let out 30 minutes ago and then forgotten about.
Oh well, at least it isn’t winter and we are just returning 2 hours later from watching The Boy play in a hockey game to we find The Dog sitting on the front porch.
Your Brother is a Goof
The Girl and I chatted on the way home form the movie.
She was complained about her brother. The only advice I could offer:
He’s a goof.
He’s thinks he sooo mature because he is almost 13.
He has no idea what he is talking about.
Just ignore him.
He’s an idiot.
She was happy with that.
Then I quickly remembered to add:
Oh – I tell him the same thing about you.
The Girl “Yes, but when you are talking to him, you are lying”
She was complained about her brother. The only advice I could offer:
He’s a goof.
He’s thinks he sooo mature because he is almost 13.
He has no idea what he is talking about.
Just ignore him.
He’s an idiot.
She was happy with that.
Then I quickly remembered to add:
Oh – I tell him the same thing about you.
The Girl “Yes, but when you are talking to him, you are lying”
Oh Yeah – We got married
We bumped into friends at the movie and hung out with them while they waited for the other half of the family to get out of another movie.
We caught up on all the neighborhood gossip – Scouts, Softball and n Football. Gotta love the small towns.
I gave them an overview of life in Texas and the return home until something caught Mo’s eye:
Mo - What the hell is that?
Me – What?
Mo - Is that a ring?
Me - Oh that. Yeah we also got married.
Mo – Married?
Me - Yeah on the beach in the Bahamas.
Mo - You didn’t tell me that?
Me - I forgot. We also went to Vegas.
Actually the wedding was a personal thing for us a s a family. We had told out parents we were planning on doing it while we were away and that was pretty much the extent of the discussions outside of our house. We did what worked for us and we were thrilled with the results and the memories.
We caught up on all the neighborhood gossip – Scouts, Softball and n Football. Gotta love the small towns.
I gave them an overview of life in Texas and the return home until something caught Mo’s eye:
Mo - What the hell is that?
Me – What?
Mo - Is that a ring?
Me - Oh that. Yeah we also got married.
Mo – Married?
Me - Yeah on the beach in the Bahamas.
Mo - You didn’t tell me that?
Me - I forgot. We also went to Vegas.
Actually the wedding was a personal thing for us a s a family. We had told out parents we were planning on doing it while we were away and that was pretty much the extent of the discussions outside of our house. We did what worked for us and we were thrilled with the results and the memories.
Movie: Get Smart
The Boys went to a movie at the last minute on Sunday so I owed The Girl one. The timings didn’t work out on Sunday so I said I would take her on Tuesday while The Boy was at football.
I forgot it was Tuesday – cheap Tuesday – all the low-lifes come out Tuesday – all the parents drag their kids to the cheap movie night Tuesday – all the icky teenagers can afford a movie Tuesday.
The parking lot was full. The food line up was massive. The Girl went and got seats while I picked up her popcorn. I had already smuggled in the candy and the water.
When I got to the theater The Girl had scored us some awesome seats – in the second row!
We had stupid parents with 10 kids right behind us. As the movie started the mother showed up with all the popcorn and was walking up and down the row dishing it out and hitting my head with her fat ass along the way.
The little shit right behind me kept putting his feet on my seat. Eventually my continuous death stare sent him to the other end of the row to sit with his mother.
The other little shit behind me started throwing up – that is one sound that will never be mistaken for anything else. The father kept yelling at the mother at the other end of the row to ‘get me an empty cup’. I picked up my purse, and my feet. Damn sloped floor.
The movie was ok, better than I expected. I hate Steve Carrel in the Office, but I didn’t mind him in this, he wasn’t completely over the top. The Girl loved it and had a good time.
I forgot it was Tuesday – cheap Tuesday – all the low-lifes come out Tuesday – all the parents drag their kids to the cheap movie night Tuesday – all the icky teenagers can afford a movie Tuesday.
The parking lot was full. The food line up was massive. The Girl went and got seats while I picked up her popcorn. I had already smuggled in the candy and the water.
When I got to the theater The Girl had scored us some awesome seats – in the second row!
We had stupid parents with 10 kids right behind us. As the movie started the mother showed up with all the popcorn and was walking up and down the row dishing it out and hitting my head with her fat ass along the way.
The little shit right behind me kept putting his feet on my seat. Eventually my continuous death stare sent him to the other end of the row to sit with his mother.
The other little shit behind me started throwing up – that is one sound that will never be mistaken for anything else. The father kept yelling at the mother at the other end of the row to ‘get me an empty cup’. I picked up my purse, and my feet. Damn sloped floor.
The movie was ok, better than I expected. I hate Steve Carrel in the Office, but I didn’t mind him in this, he wasn’t completely over the top. The Girl loved it and had a good time.
What do I remember when they were 4-5?
I was asked this today my a parent who lost her 4 year old to cancer a month before his 5th birthday.
The Boy:
Sneaking toys to preschool inside his winter boots and transferring them to his indoor shoes.
Refusing to skate and lying at center ice
Splitting open his eyebrow and refusing to leave school to have it fixed
Make believe monsters in his closet – they were his friends
Hiding eggs in his room so they would hatch into dinosaurs
Meeting Buzz Lightyear at Disney
Blowing up the Death Star at Disney
Star Wars
Being in love with Batgirl – hubba hubba
Lego, lego, lego
Grocery shopping in July while he is wearing his Batman costume
Reading The Cat in the Hat every night for six months
Wanting to grow up to be a T Rex
Sticking a piece of foam up his nose so far that we had to have a doctor remove it.
Sleeping in a race car bed
Sleeping on his pile of stuffed toys in the corner instead of his race car bed.
Trying to fit your grandmother’s fake teeth into your own mouth
Stealing your grandmothers fake teeth to get money for Lego
Trying to pull out your own teeth to get money for Lego
The Girl:
Making her Barbies fight over who was prettier
Princess dresses
Doing my nails and painting them up to my first knuckle, just before I had to go answer a knock at the door
Freaking out because she didn’t get to go to school on her 4th birthday
Her first day of school
Refusing to play hockey because she wanted to dance on the ice
Having coaches pick her out of the skating lesson because they wanted to train her for figure skating
Going downtown for Tea with a neighbor
Telling me I would have to wear a dress if I wanted to go to Tea with her
Wanting us to wear matching dresses
Having breakfast with Cinderella at her castle
Wanting to buy real pearls – not fake ones
Getting her hair braided in Jamaica
Expecting the Captain of the cruise ship to fall in love with her braided hair.
The fanciest dress on the Cruise
Easy bake oven
The Boy:
Sneaking toys to preschool inside his winter boots and transferring them to his indoor shoes.
Refusing to skate and lying at center ice
Splitting open his eyebrow and refusing to leave school to have it fixed
Make believe monsters in his closet – they were his friends
Hiding eggs in his room so they would hatch into dinosaurs
Meeting Buzz Lightyear at Disney
Blowing up the Death Star at Disney
Star Wars
Being in love with Batgirl – hubba hubba
Lego, lego, lego
Grocery shopping in July while he is wearing his Batman costume
Reading The Cat in the Hat every night for six months
Wanting to grow up to be a T Rex
Sticking a piece of foam up his nose so far that we had to have a doctor remove it.
Sleeping in a race car bed
Sleeping on his pile of stuffed toys in the corner instead of his race car bed.
Trying to fit your grandmother’s fake teeth into your own mouth
Stealing your grandmothers fake teeth to get money for Lego
Trying to pull out your own teeth to get money for Lego
The Girl:
Making her Barbies fight over who was prettier
Princess dresses
Doing my nails and painting them up to my first knuckle, just before I had to go answer a knock at the door
Freaking out because she didn’t get to go to school on her 4th birthday
Her first day of school
Refusing to play hockey because she wanted to dance on the ice
Having coaches pick her out of the skating lesson because they wanted to train her for figure skating
Going downtown for Tea with a neighbor
Telling me I would have to wear a dress if I wanted to go to Tea with her
Wanting us to wear matching dresses
Having breakfast with Cinderella at her castle
Wanting to buy real pearls – not fake ones
Getting her hair braided in Jamaica
Expecting the Captain of the cruise ship to fall in love with her braided hair.
The fanciest dress on the Cruise
Easy bake oven
I'm a Loser Because
I hit snooze again for an extra 9 minutes of sleep and it made me 20 minutes late leaving the house for work. Why can't I ever get a time warp in my favor?
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I want to go away
I am completely spoiled. We did so much travelling while we were in Texas, I don't' know what it is like to stay at home.
We have been going a little stir crazy being at the house all summer with the kids and all their friends, then family coming to visit. We don't have the kids this weekend so we might run away for the weekend or at least get out of town for a nice day trip.
Sounds goods, but...
D and her husband are thinking of going away - to the same place (they don't know about our plans yet).
We could go anywhere that isn't a big problem, but D is my dog sitter. I could leave her with asshole and she should be fine, but after the ear infection I really don't want to.
We have been going a little stir crazy being at the house all summer with the kids and all their friends, then family coming to visit. We don't have the kids this weekend so we might run away for the weekend or at least get out of town for a nice day trip.
Sounds goods, but...
D and her husband are thinking of going away - to the same place (they don't know about our plans yet).
We could go anywhere that isn't a big problem, but D is my dog sitter. I could leave her with asshole and she should be fine, but after the ear infection I really don't want to.
I must have done something right.
I waited for the rain to let up and managed to get out of the building. I reached my truck only to realize that I had forgotten my lunch containers in my desk.
Traffic sucked and one set of lights were on flash – the last set I had to go through so traffic was completely backed up.
It took an hour to get home – usually it is 30 minutes.
While I was sitting in traffic The Girl called to tell me to stay in the truck when I got home and she would come out with an umbrella so I wouldn’t get wet coming into the house.
She’s a keeper.
Traffic sucked and one set of lights were on flash – the last set I had to go through so traffic was completely backed up.
It took an hour to get home – usually it is 30 minutes.
While I was sitting in traffic The Girl called to tell me to stay in the truck when I got home and she would come out with an umbrella so I wouldn’t get wet coming into the house.
She’s a keeper.
Doctors Appointment
Got the dog’s pee collected, now for my turn.
I hate my annual physical jus a much as the next person.
My doctor sends the bottles home so I can at least pee all over myself in my own bathroom and then shower. But then I have to walk into the doctors office carrying my pee – I used to use a brown paper bag, but setting it inot the pee tray with all the other bottles drew even more attention to what I was doing.
The second worst part of the visit s undressing and piling your clothes on the chair. I have to make sure I do it in such a way that my underwear can’t be seen. Yes, she is going to be liking in my nether regions, but god forbid she see my cotton underwear.
I was so worried about my panties that I forgot about my bra and when I jumped up on the examining table I noticed that I had left my bra on top of the pile and I didn’t have a chance to hid it before she came back.
I think it is the lack of food before the appointment that turns me into such a head case. For some reason, as soon as I realize that I am into the fasting time, all I want to do is eat. It is such a long night and then I wake up starving. The worst part – I almost never snack at night and I don’t’ eat breakfast – it’s just my stupid brain playing a dirty trick on me.
I hate my annual physical jus a much as the next person.
My doctor sends the bottles home so I can at least pee all over myself in my own bathroom and then shower. But then I have to walk into the doctors office carrying my pee – I used to use a brown paper bag, but setting it inot the pee tray with all the other bottles drew even more attention to what I was doing.
The second worst part of the visit s undressing and piling your clothes on the chair. I have to make sure I do it in such a way that my underwear can’t be seen. Yes, she is going to be liking in my nether regions, but god forbid she see my cotton underwear.
I was so worried about my panties that I forgot about my bra and when I jumped up on the examining table I noticed that I had left my bra on top of the pile and I didn’t have a chance to hid it before she came back.
I think it is the lack of food before the appointment that turns me into such a head case. For some reason, as soon as I realize that I am into the fasting time, all I want to do is eat. It is such a long night and then I wake up starving. The worst part – I almost never snack at night and I don’t’ eat breakfast – it’s just my stupid brain playing a dirty trick on me.
Dog make up
More dog stories…
When The Girl was turning four she was in full princess mode. The dresses, hair , makeup . I used to keep all her make up in my room so she couldn’t practice without me to supervise.
The night before The Girls big birthday party I was busy running around getting all the last touches done and she wasn’t settling down so I put her in my bed to go to sleep. She quieted right down – I should have known something was wrong but I was preoccupied.
I went up a few hours later to check on her. She was still up and had found her makeup. She was pink. The dark green bed sheets were pink. The black Jessie Dog was pink!
I scrubbed The Girl down, changed the sheets and forgot about the dog. The next day at the party all the parents kept asking about The Dog’s make over. Never a dull moment.
When The Girl was turning four she was in full princess mode. The dresses, hair , makeup . I used to keep all her make up in my room so she couldn’t practice without me to supervise.
The night before The Girls big birthday party I was busy running around getting all the last touches done and she wasn’t settling down so I put her in my bed to go to sleep. She quieted right down – I should have known something was wrong but I was preoccupied.
I went up a few hours later to check on her. She was still up and had found her makeup. She was pink. The dark green bed sheets were pink. The black Jessie Dog was pink!
I scrubbed The Girl down, changed the sheets and forgot about the dog. The next day at the party all the parents kept asking about The Dog’s make over. Never a dull moment.
Dog Pee Sample
The vet asked me to supply a urine sample for the Jessie Dog. The regular fecal sample turns my stomach, I am just not good at that stuff.
Jessie is a girl dog and she squats when she pee s- about 2 millimeters from the ground! She is also very private and does not like to be watched while she does her business. However, she has no trouble being the watcher, and loves to accompany you to the bathroom.
I was given this funnel contraption to stick under her while she was going. It had to be the first pee in the morning and I had to get it to the lab within 1 hour of taking the sample.
So, not only do I have to violate my dog first thing on a weekend morning, but I have to show up at the vet with urine before I can have a chance to shower.
First attempt:
Saturday morning. We put her on a leash so we can control where she goes. Big mistake. She is a free roaming dog so she wouldn’t go while on the leash. We take her of the leash but now she is too traumatized to go.
Three hours later she finally wants to go back outside and I follow her out. As soon as I am I the backyard with her she thinks it is play time and she forgets she needs to pee and wants to play with the ball. I ignore her long enough - except I am actually shouting ‘go pee’ at a deaf dog – that she finally goes. She has her back to me and I am able to shove the funnel under her and get the sample! Score!
Hubby was heading into town to run some errands so he agreed to drop it off at the vets. Except I forgot to mention that all important 60 minute thing and the vet was his last stop. Need another sample. Fuck.
Sunday we repeat the process. I follow Jessie out first thing, but when I shove the funnel under her it startles her and she wont go. Another 3 hour wait until she wants to try again. Got it.
Off to the vet. Sunday: CLOSED. Double fuck.
Luckily the clinic was open so I go over to that building and they agree to test the sample. Not how I had pictured spending my weekend.
Jessie is a girl dog and she squats when she pee s- about 2 millimeters from the ground! She is also very private and does not like to be watched while she does her business. However, she has no trouble being the watcher, and loves to accompany you to the bathroom.
I was given this funnel contraption to stick under her while she was going. It had to be the first pee in the morning and I had to get it to the lab within 1 hour of taking the sample.
So, not only do I have to violate my dog first thing on a weekend morning, but I have to show up at the vet with urine before I can have a chance to shower.
First attempt:
Saturday morning. We put her on a leash so we can control where she goes. Big mistake. She is a free roaming dog so she wouldn’t go while on the leash. We take her of the leash but now she is too traumatized to go.
Three hours later she finally wants to go back outside and I follow her out. As soon as I am I the backyard with her she thinks it is play time and she forgets she needs to pee and wants to play with the ball. I ignore her long enough - except I am actually shouting ‘go pee’ at a deaf dog – that she finally goes. She has her back to me and I am able to shove the funnel under her and get the sample! Score!
Hubby was heading into town to run some errands so he agreed to drop it off at the vets. Except I forgot to mention that all important 60 minute thing and the vet was his last stop. Need another sample. Fuck.
Sunday we repeat the process. I follow Jessie out first thing, but when I shove the funnel under her it startles her and she wont go. Another 3 hour wait until she wants to try again. Got it.
Off to the vet. Sunday: CLOSED. Double fuck.
Luckily the clinic was open so I go over to that building and they agree to test the sample. Not how I had pictured spending my weekend.
The Girl’s Swimming Lessons
The Girl is like a fish in the water. When she was three I stopped to pick her up at our care giver’s house after work. They were in the pool as usual and Cathy asked if she could try something. Sure.
She took off The Girl’s floaties and threw her into the pool. The Girl sunk 4 ft to the bottom and sat there. Cathy jumped in and plucked her out. She blinked the water out of hr eyes and smiled. Cathy said to ‘get the kid some swimming lessons’ since she had absolutely no fear of the water.
I quickly enrolled her in some private lessons and she went for almost a year. By the time she turned four she was diving into the deep end and swimming to the length of the pool. She stopped going because she was too young to start the next class that she had to be 5 for.
She is still part dolphin and seems to spend more time under the water than above it.
She took off The Girl’s floaties and threw her into the pool. The Girl sunk 4 ft to the bottom and sat there. Cathy jumped in and plucked her out. She blinked the water out of hr eyes and smiled. Cathy said to ‘get the kid some swimming lessons’ since she had absolutely no fear of the water.
I quickly enrolled her in some private lessons and she went for almost a year. By the time she turned four she was diving into the deep end and swimming to the length of the pool. She stopped going because she was too young to start the next class that she had to be 5 for.
She is still part dolphin and seems to spend more time under the water than above it.
Fire pit
I finally finished a project. The fire pit area is done. I put the last piece of lattice up and re-routed the vines to it. The firewood is all stacked and organized and we even had a fire on Saturday Night.
The Girl made the fire – the first time on her own. She did a great job, but then she had to be stopped form the constant poking of the fire.
Some of the kids friends joined up ad we all hung out nicely until Hubby asked who ate all the cookies. I fessed up to eating three- I was working hard! Then the boys all started making piggy noises – little bastards.
The Girl made the fire – the first time on her own. She did a great job, but then she had to be stopped form the constant poking of the fire.
Some of the kids friends joined up ad we all hung out nicely until Hubby asked who ate all the cookies. I fessed up to eating three- I was working hard! Then the boys all started making piggy noises – little bastards.
Monday, August 18, 2008
I'm a Loser Because
I am trapped at work by the mother of all thunder storms and I don't want to get soaked walking to my car.
This is what I get for staying late to finish up a task that I promised myself I would complete before going home today.
Fuck! D just e-mailed - I have a bassinet that I am supposed to throw in their truck on the way home tonight.
This is what I get for staying late to finish up a task that I promised myself I would complete before going home today.
Fuck! D just e-mailed - I have a bassinet that I am supposed to throw in their truck on the way home tonight.
Watch Me Dive
One of The Boy’s friend did a back dive off the board so, not to be undone, The Girl has pent the summer perfecting hers.
I have a choice of viewing, the regular dive, the sideways dive, or the backwards dive. I get to rate the splash. She usually has very little, I am not sure if it is because her dive is so good or she is so small.
I mentioned that she was getting pretty good and she should take some diving lessons.
“No Mommy, I don’t want the other divers to feel bad since I am so good.”
I guess I should tone down the compliments for awhile. At least she is no danger of drowning with that big head of hers.
I have a choice of viewing, the regular dive, the sideways dive, or the backwards dive. I get to rate the splash. She usually has very little, I am not sure if it is because her dive is so good or she is so small.
I mentioned that she was getting pretty good and she should take some diving lessons.
“No Mommy, I don’t want the other divers to feel bad since I am so good.”
I guess I should tone down the compliments for awhile. At least she is no danger of drowning with that big head of hers.
WTF?
The cubicle mate farter has been on vacation for 2 weeks. He is back today and just struck again.
Monday Madness
I popped in The Girl’s room before leaving for my doctor’s appointment. She rolled over and said ‘bye’ and ‘can you turn the TV on?’ I guess my expression said it for me because she added ‘the remote need new batteries”
So I turned it on, and then played the human remote s I went through the channels to find what she was willing to watch before I left.
The guilt of a working mom.
So I turned it on, and then played the human remote s I went through the channels to find what she was willing to watch before I left.
The guilt of a working mom.
Jessie Dog
After 13 years I thought she would like a kong toy. We picked one up and filled it with peanut butter. It took her a while to get the hang of it – she preferred we hold it for her while she liked the peanut butter out of it. We finally grew tired and put it down and she figured it out herself. Then she took it to the backyard and buried it.
Only the 3rd object in 13 years to be buried.
First – the stump of her rawhide bone
Second – a real bone from a steak.
The Girl went and dug it up and we ran it though the dish washer. The Girl filled it and Jessie licked out all the peanut butter and then went out in the back yard and buried it again.
Only the 3rd object in 13 years to be buried.
First – the stump of her rawhide bone
Second – a real bone from a steak.
The Girl went and dug it up and we ran it though the dish washer. The Girl filled it and Jessie licked out all the peanut butter and then went out in the back yard and buried it again.
I'm a Loser Because
The mosquito bites I got working in the yard yesterday didn’t start to itch until I sat down at my desk today – with no anti-itch crap in sight.
The Girls in the Nice Black Sportscar
While we were in Texas the kids care giver had knee surgery and getting into her truck was too hard so she traded it for a beautiful black convertible mustang.
She offered to swing by on the weekend and take The Girl for a ride in the afternoon. The Girl approved of this so much that she got up, got dressed and as soon as she finished eating she wanted to call Cathy to tell her she was ready.
Cathy did show up right after lunch and we chatted for a few minutes and then they took off for the afternoon. I figured I would take some pictures when they got back, but as they pulled out I realized that you couldn’t even see The Girl sitting in the front seat! A little hand poked up to wave good bye as they sped off down the road.
As they let I said to hubby – she is going to want a red one.
That night I asked The Girl what she though of the car. “Love it, I want one, but in red.” Do I know my baby or what?
She offered to swing by on the weekend and take The Girl for a ride in the afternoon. The Girl approved of this so much that she got up, got dressed and as soon as she finished eating she wanted to call Cathy to tell her she was ready.
Cathy did show up right after lunch and we chatted for a few minutes and then they took off for the afternoon. I figured I would take some pictures when they got back, but as they pulled out I realized that you couldn’t even see The Girl sitting in the front seat! A little hand poked up to wave good bye as they sped off down the road.
As they let I said to hubby – she is going to want a red one.
That night I asked The Girl what she though of the car. “Love it, I want one, but in red.” Do I know my baby or what?
Mini Me
The Girl had the same care giver form the time she was 9 months old until we left for Texas. She is The Girl’s other mom.
On Friday The Girl was bored so I told her to bike over to visit Cathy. She left before lunch and never came home. I stopped by on my way home form work and found her soaking in Cathy’s hot tub. All the babies were only allowed to sit on the edge and dip their feet in. Finally, she got to be the big kid.
One of the littles looks just like The Girl as a toddler – same red hair in the same pig tails that stuck straight out from her head. I squealed when I saw her – it’s the Girls’ Mini-me!
Cathy said she had to get out The Girls photos and prove that she used to look just like her. Too funny.
Some parents started showing up to get their kids so I hauled The Girl out and took her home, but Cathy promised to stop by on the weekend to take her for a drive in the convertible.
On Friday The Girl was bored so I told her to bike over to visit Cathy. She left before lunch and never came home. I stopped by on my way home form work and found her soaking in Cathy’s hot tub. All the babies were only allowed to sit on the edge and dip their feet in. Finally, she got to be the big kid.
One of the littles looks just like The Girl as a toddler – same red hair in the same pig tails that stuck straight out from her head. I squealed when I saw her – it’s the Girls’ Mini-me!
Cathy said she had to get out The Girls photos and prove that she used to look just like her. Too funny.
Some parents started showing up to get their kids so I hauled The Girl out and took her home, but Cathy promised to stop by on the weekend to take her for a drive in the convertible.
Friday, August 15, 2008
I'm a Loser Because
I have scratched my still itchy water park sunburn raw and now I have a big blood stain in the center of the back of my WHITE shirt. I am not made for white clothes.
Wikipedia Weirdness
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_names#First_or_given_names
D thinks that the unnamed baby may get an Irish name.
D thinks that the unnamed baby may get an Irish name.
The Principal’s Office
I was one of the teacher’s pet straight A type kids so why is it, that whenever my boss want to talk to me I always feel like I am being called to the principals office?
I was just about to head/sneak out to get my driver’s license. I had to get a new Ontario one because work sent me to Texas and I had to get a Texas one to register my truck – work related.
My boss pops by. I hate drop-in’s.
Just wanted to touch base (what the fuck I have done now?).
I have approved your course in California (Yes!)
You have a Sudoku calendar – how do you get work done? (Fuck – I’m screwed!)
I do Sudoku all the time. (close call)
I’m ok with the other team borrowing you when needed because you have been producing well (even though I have already wrote one test this week?)
OK, it went well, I am doing ok. Why do I feel so guilty then? Is it my thoughts screaming – get the fuck away from me so I can go get my driver’s license. Preferably without being scene leaving the building so when I come back 2 hours later it looks like I just ran out to pick up some lunch?
Due to the level of guilty and anxiety I vow to finish the test I am working on before leaving work today.
I was just about to head/sneak out to get my driver’s license. I had to get a new Ontario one because work sent me to Texas and I had to get a Texas one to register my truck – work related.
My boss pops by. I hate drop-in’s.
Just wanted to touch base (what the fuck I have done now?).
I have approved your course in California (Yes!)
You have a Sudoku calendar – how do you get work done? (Fuck – I’m screwed!)
I do Sudoku all the time. (close call)
I’m ok with the other team borrowing you when needed because you have been producing well (even though I have already wrote one test this week?)
OK, it went well, I am doing ok. Why do I feel so guilty then? Is it my thoughts screaming – get the fuck away from me so I can go get my driver’s license. Preferably without being scene leaving the building so when I come back 2 hours later it looks like I just ran out to pick up some lunch?
Due to the level of guilty and anxiety I vow to finish the test I am working on before leaving work today.
TGIF
Log on
Fill up water bottle
Check E-mail
Check Favorites
Sign up for electronic utility bills
E-mail co-worker for coffee
Get coffee
Read Blog
Open Application
E-mail latest baby name suggestions to co-worker
Write a few test steps
Look up outline
Look for notes n log book
Find Sudoku calendar page in log book
Do puzzle
It’s10AM and I have written 2 lines in a test I should have finished 3 days ago.
I think it’s going to be a crappy day.
Fill up water bottle
Check E-mail
Check Favorites
Sign up for electronic utility bills
E-mail co-worker for coffee
Get coffee
Read Blog
Open Application
E-mail latest baby name suggestions to co-worker
Write a few test steps
Look up outline
Look for notes n log book
Find Sudoku calendar page in log book
Do puzzle
It’s10AM and I have written 2 lines in a test I should have finished 3 days ago.
I think it’s going to be a crappy day.
The Girl is a geek in training
The Girl did some normal 10 yr old girl stuff. She used the beach towels and lawn chairs to build herself a fort on the back deck. She lugged out blankets and pillows and stuffed animals.
Then she tool out a laptop and e-mailed her Step-Daddykins who was in the family room.
He was so proud.
Then she tool out a laptop and e-mailed her Step-Daddykins who was in the family room.
He was so proud.
I'm a Loser Because
I have been trying to be so good today.
I got myself settled down and ready to work only to find out I was the Pilot today.
My the time we crashed it was lunch time.
Then e-mailing with Denise.
I got settled down again and Tony popped by – he’s in town for 2 weeks.
By the time we finished talking it was time to meet Penny.
Now all I can think about is going home.
I suck.
I as telling Penny about Tims the last couple of day – guess what? She had a runner yesterday as well! Very weird.
I got myself settled down and ready to work only to find out I was the Pilot today.
My the time we crashed it was lunch time.
Then e-mailing with Denise.
I got settled down again and Tony popped by – he’s in town for 2 weeks.
By the time we finished talking it was time to meet Penny.
Now all I can think about is going home.
I suck.
I as telling Penny about Tims the last couple of day – guess what? She had a runner yesterday as well! Very weird.
Baby Pilots
We have run out of show to watch while we are watching for fall TV season to kick in. Hubby agreed to watch Gray’s Anatomy with me and last night we started working our way through last season.
I burst out laughing when the Attendings yelled at the interns to get away. It reminded me of my posting in Comox when we would yell at all the baby pilots (pre-flight training) to get away from us in the Officer’s Mess.
I burst out laughing when the Attendings yelled at the interns to get away. It reminded me of my posting in Comox when we would yell at all the baby pilots (pre-flight training) to get away from us in the Officer’s Mess.
I'm a Loser Because
I eat at me desk and I just knocked my lunch all over the floor of my cubical. Fuck.
I guess I deserve a candy bar form the lunch room now!
I guess I deserve a candy bar form the lunch room now!
Babies
Thank god I had my kids when I was young and stupid.
D needed a ride to work this morning. She is 7 months pregnant and just realizing that something has to come out of her – the still unnamed baby.
Since I had a c-section and vaginal birth I could field most of the questions. She found a book that actually tells her all the icky stuff that no one else has the guts to tell you. So yes, I had to talk about shit, hemorrhoids, monster periods and leaking nipples. Great start to the day. I can’t wait for the ride home.
I just didn’t think about when I had The Boy. You just ‘had them’. I was the first one in my family to have a c-section, so I totally wasn’t expecting that. Plus the complications that no one warned me about – not the baby class or the epidural class. Guess what – epidurals can wear off during a c-section. Very small percentage. Why can’t I ever be in that small percentage that wins the lotto?
D needed a ride to work this morning. She is 7 months pregnant and just realizing that something has to come out of her – the still unnamed baby.
Since I had a c-section and vaginal birth I could field most of the questions. She found a book that actually tells her all the icky stuff that no one else has the guts to tell you. So yes, I had to talk about shit, hemorrhoids, monster periods and leaking nipples. Great start to the day. I can’t wait for the ride home.
I just didn’t think about when I had The Boy. You just ‘had them’. I was the first one in my family to have a c-section, so I totally wasn’t expecting that. Plus the complications that no one warned me about – not the baby class or the epidural class. Guess what – epidurals can wear off during a c-section. Very small percentage. Why can’t I ever be in that small percentage that wins the lotto?
I'm a Loser Because
Even though I scrubbed my feet in the shower this morning. My toes are poking out of my sandals and flecked with deck stain. They are a nice cedar color this morning.
WTF?
Another asshole ran by me to get to Tim’s ahead of me. And this one had a list of coffees and food! I only wanted one coffee – in and out in less than 1 minute, but no he is far more important than I am. If he was that important, he should have had someone getting his coffee for him.
Getting it done…
The drive way has been sealed – looks awesome – it needed it five years ago, so it is a huge improvement.
Hubby installed new lights at the end of the driveway and on the garage. I found a set that was bought a few (8?) years ago for the back of the house and they happen to match the design of the new ones so they will be going on the house today. All nice black coach lights. Ugly fake-brass crap stuff is gone.
The new drive way lights are the coach style as well. Replaced the ugly globes, which everyone else on the street still has, so now I am in globe watch. I think hubby and I might start a pool to see who switched their lights out next.
And last but not least – the deck got stained last night as well – 2 hours of three of us working. Ok. 2 and ½ or 2 and ¼ because The Girl was helping us. She finally got to use a roller and decided that it wasn’t nearly as much fun as she thought it was. After 10 minutes she needed to cool off in the pool.
We had the last laugh because the deck leads up to the pool gates. Once we got it stained we told her she was trapped for the night. Ha ha!
I guess she forgot about the small gate that leads to the side of the house.
We managed to torture her for 30 min.
Hubby installed new lights at the end of the driveway and on the garage. I found a set that was bought a few (8?) years ago for the back of the house and they happen to match the design of the new ones so they will be going on the house today. All nice black coach lights. Ugly fake-brass crap stuff is gone.
The new drive way lights are the coach style as well. Replaced the ugly globes, which everyone else on the street still has, so now I am in globe watch. I think hubby and I might start a pool to see who switched their lights out next.
And last but not least – the deck got stained last night as well – 2 hours of three of us working. Ok. 2 and ½ or 2 and ¼ because The Girl was helping us. She finally got to use a roller and decided that it wasn’t nearly as much fun as she thought it was. After 10 minutes she needed to cool off in the pool.
We had the last laugh because the deck leads up to the pool gates. Once we got it stained we told her she was trapped for the night. Ha ha!
I guess she forgot about the small gate that leads to the side of the house.
We managed to torture her for 30 min.
Wikipedia Weirdness
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_the_Tank_Engine
D and I are trying to come up with names for her no-name baby. I suggested Thomas the Tank, she said no Thomas was a train. Officially –It’s Thomas the Tank Engine.
Name already exists in her family, so it is out.
D and I are trying to come up with names for her no-name baby. I suggested Thomas the Tank, she said no Thomas was a train. Officially –It’s Thomas the Tank Engine.
Name already exists in her family, so it is out.
WTF?
D emailed- she was fading and wanted to go for coffee early. I walked over to her office and we headed for Tim’s. Since we were early we avoided the 2PM rush, there was no one ahead of us.
As we walked across the parking lot some woman actually ran to get ahead of us and got the Tim’s first. There was NO LINE in the store. It is just a counter service, no tables, glass walls. You could see that there was no one there.
She also had gotten out of her car to run past us – the place has a drive through. With no fucking line up! What is it with the people around me lately?
As we walked across the parking lot some woman actually ran to get ahead of us and got the Tim’s first. There was NO LINE in the store. It is just a counter service, no tables, glass walls. You could see that there was no one there.
She also had gotten out of her car to run past us – the place has a drive through. With no fucking line up! What is it with the people around me lately?
WTF?
People are stupid.
I meet my friend for coffee. We sat in out picnic area next to her building.
While we were sitting there some woman walked between the bushes and sat next to me at our table and opened a book to read.
It’s a company area.
She does not work for our company
There are four table and the other three are empty!
Very creepy. We stopped talking and stared at her, but she just didn’t get it.
I meet my friend for coffee. We sat in out picnic area next to her building.
While we were sitting there some woman walked between the bushes and sat next to me at our table and opened a book to read.
It’s a company area.
She does not work for our company
There are four table and the other three are empty!
Very creepy. We stopped talking and stared at her, but she just didn’t get it.
Kids drive me insane
The Boy: Can E sleep over.
Me: You are supposed to be at your Dad’s tonight.
The Boy: He won’t let me have sleep overs so we want to stay with you.
Me: Ask your Dad.
The Ass: Yeah, they can just stay at your house.
Me: Why don’t’ you take them – they both have to get up and go to camp in the morning.
The Ass: But then I would have to arrange to get E‘s clothes for tomorrow.
Me: If he stays at my place, I would have to get his clothes for tomorrow – they can stay at your place.
The Ass: But I told them that they can’t have sleep overs during the week.
Me: Special circumstances due to camp.
The Ass: Ok.
The Ass: Ok you guys can come.
The Boy: E can’t, he has baseball tonight. Can J come instead?
The Ass: No.
Me: J is away for another week.
The Ass: He doesn’t think things through.
Me: Wonder where he got that from?
Me: You are supposed to be at your Dad’s tonight.
The Boy: He won’t let me have sleep overs so we want to stay with you.
Me: Ask your Dad.
The Ass: Yeah, they can just stay at your house.
Me: Why don’t’ you take them – they both have to get up and go to camp in the morning.
The Ass: But then I would have to arrange to get E‘s clothes for tomorrow.
Me: If he stays at my place, I would have to get his clothes for tomorrow – they can stay at your place.
The Ass: But I told them that they can’t have sleep overs during the week.
Me: Special circumstances due to camp.
The Ass: Ok.
The Ass: Ok you guys can come.
The Boy: E can’t, he has baseball tonight. Can J come instead?
The Ass: No.
Me: J is away for another week.
The Ass: He doesn’t think things through.
Me: Wonder where he got that from?
Task of the Day
Tree removal – call about the three elm trees to be cut down. We had 20 removed last year – dead elms and storm damaged. Crap. At least we also plant trees – more due to be planted this fall.
8-10 weeks before they can get to us. At least I have done my part.
8-10 weeks before they can get to us. At least I have done my part.
I'm a Loser Because
I am peeling from the Mont Cascade sunburn and it is severely itchy. My desk is covered with shedded skin. I am lizard woman.
Monday Blahs
Back to work sucks.
I have no interest in doing anything. I am so bad at getting back into the groove once I fall out of it.
The Boy picked out some clothes when he got to our place – I guess he looked good. Hopefully he will still be dressed when I get home.
The boys had a good day so hopefully camp will be a success.
The Girl liked the way we rearranged her room. She found the phone outlet and plugged in a phone and is overjoyed at having a phone in her room. Shudder.
I have no interest in doing anything. I am so bad at getting back into the groove once I fall out of it.
The Boy picked out some clothes when he got to our place – I guess he looked good. Hopefully he will still be dressed when I get home.
The boys had a good day so hopefully camp will be a success.
The Girl liked the way we rearranged her room. She found the phone outlet and plugged in a phone and is overjoyed at having a phone in her room. Shudder.
Movie: Batman the Dark Knight
Since Batman has been out for a few weeks we though it would be safe to try and see it. I have gotten so antisocial in my thirties. We even picked a show at supper time on a Sunday. It was still crowded – not packed, people sitting right next to you, but people one seat away and directly behind you, touching the back of your chair. Fuckers.
It was worth it though. It rocked. It was long, but I didn’t mind. The only complaint was that it was so damn loud! I actually left the theatre with a migraine.
Heath Ledger did a great job as the Joker, but he didn’t live up to all the hype. Christian Bale makes a great Batman and I enjoyed the twists in the movie.
It was worth it though. It rocked. It was long, but I didn’t mind. The only complaint was that it was so damn loud! I actually left the theatre with a migraine.
Heath Ledger did a great job as the Joker, but he didn’t live up to all the hype. Christian Bale makes a great Batman and I enjoyed the twists in the movie.
Dress code for a 12 year old?
Ok – just a few errands to run. Nice quiet day. Start with paying for The Boy’s golf camp which starts tomorrow.
What? A dress Code? No t-shirts or jeans. But that is all the little bastard will wear. And the small fortune I just spent on his back to school crap did not include nice preppy golf shirts and dress shorts.
Off to Walmart. On a Sunday afternoon. Feeding time at the zoo.
We managed to find a few shirts and a couple of shorts that will have to do.
I am so ready to go back to work tomorrow and relax.
What? A dress Code? No t-shirts or jeans. But that is all the little bastard will wear. And the small fortune I just spent on his back to school crap did not include nice preppy golf shirts and dress shorts.
Off to Walmart. On a Sunday afternoon. Feeding time at the zoo.
We managed to find a few shirts and a couple of shorts that will have to do.
I am so ready to go back to work tomorrow and relax.
Quiet
Sis and family got away ok. Shithead has been here to pick up the kids.
All is quiet in the house.
Of course I have sore throat and feel like crap. Looks like my body if forcing me to spend the weekend sitting on the couch with Hubby watching movies.
Sweet.
All is quiet in the house.
Of course I have sore throat and feel like crap. Looks like my body if forcing me to spend the weekend sitting on the couch with Hubby watching movies.
Sweet.
Movie: Mummy 3
For the last night of Sis in town we all went out for dinner and a movie. Since there were such a broad taste in movies and we were not willing to try anything risqué with the kids after Step Brothers, we picked 2 movies that played at the same time. Most opted for The Mummy 3 while the Sis and a niece went to Get Smart.
I absolutely love the first 2 Mummy movies. I watch them every time I have a sick day – not the mental health days, but a real sick day when I am curled up on the couch.
I also love Jet Li so I was really looking forward to this one.
It was ok. Action packed but a bit disappointed. I didn’t like the new Evelyn or the actor that played Alex. I loved the Yeti’s and The Girl and I had a laugh about her Halloween yetis.
I absolutely love the first 2 Mummy movies. I watch them every time I have a sick day – not the mental health days, but a real sick day when I am curled up on the couch.
I also love Jet Li so I was really looking forward to this one.
It was ok. Action packed but a bit disappointed. I didn’t like the new Evelyn or the actor that played Alex. I loved the Yeti’s and The Girl and I had a laugh about her Halloween yetis.
Family Vacation – Rock Climbing
On thing all the girls wanted to do was go to the indoor climbing gym. We were bugged all week about it. Sis stayed an extra day so they could go. Do you think the gym could make an exception and open at a decent hour? No it opened at 2PM? Didn’t help us as 11am when we stopped by.
So, we decided to take them to laser tag instead – it’s just across the road (commerce screaming – nooooo, we want to go rock climbing). Didn’t matte r- laser dorks were in cahoots with the rock jocks and they didn’t open until 2pm either.
Back to the house, regroup ad try again. Sis took all the girls rock climbing. I headed to the Dr’s with The Boy – ear infection, nice memento from the water park, kept him up all night in pain!
So, we decided to take them to laser tag instead – it’s just across the road (commerce screaming – nooooo, we want to go rock climbing). Didn’t matte r- laser dorks were in cahoots with the rock jocks and they didn’t open until 2pm either.
Back to the house, regroup ad try again. Sis took all the girls rock climbing. I headed to the Dr’s with The Boy – ear infection, nice memento from the water park, kept him up all night in pain!
Got Grubs
The lawn people came by – I was still in my pj’s, but I am on vacation so I don’t really care.
Our dead section of grass is not form the rotting roots of the dead tree.. We got grubs. Too late in the season to do anything about it now – add it on the spring treatments.
And the crab grass – that’s a special treatment you have to call and order. Even though I call every fucking year and what the stuff gone!
Might as well add de-thatching and aeration.
I hate the word aeration. I have cancelled services with lawn companies over this word. When I was having a lot of contracting work done around the house, some trucks had to use the yard so that year I just got the weed control stuff and explained to the lawn company when all the construction was done, I would take care of the lawn then.
I guess that seemed like a lie because they called my 3 times a week for the entire summer suggesting that I have the lawn fucking aerated. It didn’t matter who I talked to or what they put into my file, they kept calling.
Finally I switched to a company and explained that if I got a call from them once I would cancel my service and demand a refund. I can read the notes on my invoice that the nice service men leave when they treat the lawn.
Mostly I hate aeration because it looks like thousands of little turds all over your lawn and that is just gross.
Our dead section of grass is not form the rotting roots of the dead tree.. We got grubs. Too late in the season to do anything about it now – add it on the spring treatments.
And the crab grass – that’s a special treatment you have to call and order. Even though I call every fucking year and what the stuff gone!
Might as well add de-thatching and aeration.
I hate the word aeration. I have cancelled services with lawn companies over this word. When I was having a lot of contracting work done around the house, some trucks had to use the yard so that year I just got the weed control stuff and explained to the lawn company when all the construction was done, I would take care of the lawn then.
I guess that seemed like a lie because they called my 3 times a week for the entire summer suggesting that I have the lawn fucking aerated. It didn’t matter who I talked to or what they put into my file, they kept calling.
Finally I switched to a company and explained that if I got a call from them once I would cancel my service and demand a refund. I can read the notes on my invoice that the nice service men leave when they treat the lawn.
Mostly I hate aeration because it looks like thousands of little turds all over your lawn and that is just gross.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Family Vacation – White Water Rafting
Ok – how to prepare to leave for a white water rafting trip – you go looking at hot tubs!
We were supposed to be getting ham and eggs for breakfast, but we stopped to get a new pool light on the way, and they had hot tubs on display. It make sense. It does.
Got breakfast cooked, got everyone ready, traumatized the dog my packing bags in front of her and got out of the house on time.
We got to the river, got checked n, briefed, fitted for wet suit jackets, bussed to the launch site, met out guide Lars, and the thunder and lightning started. And that didn’t stop them form putting us n the rafts and pushing us out into the open water! That is when I was sure that this was a past time invented by psychos.
It didn’t take long to figure out something was up. The other two rafts went to the side of the rapids while we went straight through the middle. Sis and I were screaming. On the last one a wave hit me from behind and knocked me to the bottom of the raft. It was either a monster wave or the back end of the raft was under water because when I finally opened my eyes there was still a foot of water in the self-draining raft. Sis and The Boy almost fell out, both were hanging on my one hand with portions of their bodies dangling outside the raft.
Highlights of the trip:
- beautiful scenery on the Ottawa river
- watching the kids jump off the rocks
- watching the guys jump off the rocks
- kids and guys using the front of the raft as a diving board
- Lars teaching the kids bacon and eggs
- Lars rocking the raft so the Girl fell into the Raft every time she tried to do Bacon and Eggs
- Lars picking the kids out of the water by their life vest straps
- Lars picking BIL out of the water by his life vest straps
- All the boys being unhappy with their happy straps after Lars picks them out of the water
- The Boy getting to paddle the raft
- The burnt burgers on the pontoon boat that tasted so good
- The Boy paddling a canoe by himself
- Finding out BIL had convinced Lars to show us a good time
- nice warm shower and crawling into bed when we got home to the emotionally wounded, abandoned puppy
We were supposed to be getting ham and eggs for breakfast, but we stopped to get a new pool light on the way, and they had hot tubs on display. It make sense. It does.
Got breakfast cooked, got everyone ready, traumatized the dog my packing bags in front of her and got out of the house on time.
We got to the river, got checked n, briefed, fitted for wet suit jackets, bussed to the launch site, met out guide Lars, and the thunder and lightning started. And that didn’t stop them form putting us n the rafts and pushing us out into the open water! That is when I was sure that this was a past time invented by psychos.
It didn’t take long to figure out something was up. The other two rafts went to the side of the rapids while we went straight through the middle. Sis and I were screaming. On the last one a wave hit me from behind and knocked me to the bottom of the raft. It was either a monster wave or the back end of the raft was under water because when I finally opened my eyes there was still a foot of water in the self-draining raft. Sis and The Boy almost fell out, both were hanging on my one hand with portions of their bodies dangling outside the raft.
Highlights of the trip:
- beautiful scenery on the Ottawa river
- watching the kids jump off the rocks
- watching the guys jump off the rocks
- kids and guys using the front of the raft as a diving board
- Lars teaching the kids bacon and eggs
- Lars rocking the raft so the Girl fell into the Raft every time she tried to do Bacon and Eggs
- Lars picking the kids out of the water by their life vest straps
- Lars picking BIL out of the water by his life vest straps
- All the boys being unhappy with their happy straps after Lars picks them out of the water
- The Boy getting to paddle the raft
- The burnt burgers on the pontoon boat that tasted so good
- The Boy paddling a canoe by himself
- Finding out BIL had convinced Lars to show us a good time
- nice warm shower and crawling into bed when we got home to the emotionally wounded, abandoned puppy
I made Strawberry Shortcake
Hubby wanted to have his parents over while my sister was in town – it was the first meeting of the families. At our house. Fuck.
I hate cooking and I hate entertaining. It is so stressful.
Everything actually turned out really well. Sis and I prepped everything and the guys handled the BBQ. I had decide don strawberry shortcake for dessert. Sis said that you can buy the Tea Biscuits, but I couldn’t find them so I got a box of Bisquick mix and managed to make a couple of patched without burning them – thank you Pampered Chef stoneware!
At the end of the night when I was patting myself on the back it came out that I had never make strawberry shortcake before. Seems like I missed some right of passage and skipped a step to my adult/wife/mother status because of the horrified looks I got. Good thing I didn’t screw it up.
I hate cooking and I hate entertaining. It is so stressful.
Everything actually turned out really well. Sis and I prepped everything and the guys handled the BBQ. I had decide don strawberry shortcake for dessert. Sis said that you can buy the Tea Biscuits, but I couldn’t find them so I got a box of Bisquick mix and managed to make a couple of patched without burning them – thank you Pampered Chef stoneware!
At the end of the night when I was patting myself on the back it came out that I had never make strawberry shortcake before. Seems like I missed some right of passage and skipped a step to my adult/wife/mother status because of the horrified looks I got. Good thing I didn’t screw it up.
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